Self Eulogy

Self Eulogy

The afflicted tune has ended, fire burns to zero,
To the silent master there is no treason,
Thank you for weeping, the elated song plays on,
Knowing I’m alongside you, no question or reason

Heart demands no excuse for warmth,
Memories inside exist with little trace,
Imagination, love, you take it with you,
You have pictures, I’ll never forget a face

In life I’ve struggled with my place
Where I land is real and beyond my control,
My concept was never this side of beautiful,
Choice of rest place, time to sleep not grow

Misunderstood, all judgements long forgiven,
The mind was mine, the body a short lease,
Blessed to have lived in this short loving time,
Knowing there is such a place of finding peace

A desert island, a single paradise of oasis,
Silence moves slower, ending is stretched,
My feelings are enclosed, forever in stasis,
Pictures in my mind of a life permanently etched.

Urgency

Life is never enough
Time is a thorn to endless resolution
The urgency pumping through our veins
Reaching out
To a self-made deadline
An internal pressure
Mind fixated on serinty filling
Reality we’re soul killing
Feeling selfish when relaxing chances upon us
Need to slow sensations to body
Enjoy instead of panic
Breath instead of losing breathe
Sit in thought
Not wishing life away
Activities participated in anxiety
Those memories won’t last
Pleasure taken leisurely, calmly
Will be remembered
Play your own game
At a comfortable soothing pace
Life’s too short yes,
So why rush?

Swallowed

Encased tightly like a kindred shawl
Operatic music keys the deathly parade
Darkness falls as depression is unforgiven
Out of sleep, madness has ferociously risen

Minds lavish with stops and barriers
Each technique infiltrates the game
Confront the beast to endure the wrath
The dark showman encores with no laugh

Focus faded from white to blue
Sharp intakes as breath breaks free
Eyes swell enticed to a burning flame
Non-existent fiend is the common claim

Social effort made with no appreciation
Cloaked and hooded, a brave face worn
Battling blind is to live by the sword
Struggle back as help cries ignored

Body shifts earthwards to a living recession
A empty conscience to combat the depression
Cut off the head to revive the throne,
Before the dread absorbs, all to the bone

None believed the belief held by the host
Bleak haunted calls from the holy ghost
Redundant friends mourn the shadowy bed
Truth now evident, as tears soak the dead.

Transition

The grey imakes a becoming change,
Where it was dark, there’s now light,
The future wasn’t written just blanked out,
From dense and heavy to very bright

The journey from the dark came with struggles,
Obsessions came with their own withdrawal,
Finally breaking free liberated the pressures,
Now able to catch yourself if you fall

Inspiring the mind to keep the flame burning,
Blackness still beckons with a whimpering hand,
Journey from there to here has many obstacles,
You can now judge you! and understand

It’s about being honest and true,
Get out and be proud of how you feel,
Keep your head high and be much more,
Part of being yourself is keeping it real

Thoughts and feelings are now words and verse,
Part of showing the world what you can do,
The personal expectations have been lifted,
There’s no limit to where life can take you

Blind Side

Blind side

One side of the mind suppressive
Opposite side, hard and obsessive
Middle a vacant cold space
Been awhile since it has seen a face
Reminiscent of a grey dark road
Whispering sounds of stories old,
Used to make the heart beat fast
Creating panic so the will won’t last
Spun round with nowhere to hide
Hoping fear would chose a side
Trying to make bravery flee and burn
Beat off the plan of staying to learn
Decades have rolled with a distant middle
False hope messages still a riddle
Good and bad takes turn on each shoulder
Hard to ignore until wiser and older
Each side creeping over to evade
An expert and pro at a whisper parade
Worried voice shouts a rational view
Round in circles, constant de-ja-vue
Side to side, a trap to be alone
Be free in mind, where the thoughts are your own.