Amputated

Two fingers amputated due to a work accident.
For a recreational writer and poet it can be a massive setback.
Not being able to make notes quickly, and struggling to get motivated or creative when looking at a loss which is so obvious in front of my face.
Worrying what other people think of my deformity.

But we must crack on and tell our story.
I’ve suffered mentally in the past, and now physically.
Because it’s my writing hand I feel like I’m being tormented or warned by some higher power.

But alas that is just my imagination, which is still fully intact.
I will adapt and embrace the change. Though it may be a slower process, words will still flow and my story will go on…

Two Halves

This poem is featured in the Poetry book – Encryption of the Mind.
Which is now available to buy or download from Amazon and other good bookstores or

https://www.austinmacauley.com/book/encryption-mind
❤👍

Two halves

You may think these words are heavy
It’s hard not to be with mental illness
Most would of stopped reading by now
Some stayed just to be curious

Maybe you stayed because you can relate,
To how it felt and how it affected you
The Love, fear, happiness and hate
We’re constantly have, and are going through

Those first two verses were written when really low,
God, reading it brings me down
But only to a level of understanding
All part of turning your life around

Well, you got this far, and not by chance
Seen off the mysterious voices
Freedom is a wonderful thing
Being able to make life choices

A lot of life has been wasted
Solving an impossible puzzle
Time to look past, look forward
Take off that emotional muzzle

I don’t want to end this like I’m preaching,
But theres one thing I’ve identified,
If you do relate, then you’re a kind, loyal,
Beautiful, passionate, creative, ambitious and caring person…
… Don’t hide!

Happy People

Happy People

I’m sinking
Sinking in drinking
Swallowing my soul,
Im thinking, thinking
Of sinking
Swallowed down whole

I’m breathing
Breathing in light
Where darkness still reigns,
I’m sorry
Sorry for everything
Guilt runs through my veins

I’m leaving
Leaving through time
I’ve nothing left,
Come find me
Find me in peace
There’s no judgement in death.

Burn

We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.

I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.

I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.

I Swear

I have been Cursed
For causing dark treason,
Bringing public the fight
That reins against my demons,

As I focus my words, I become,
The truth bringer,
So action is taken
And mystical fate looses my fingers.

Twice a digit has been sacrificed
Amputated to order,
By the secret forces
Who watch over the borders,

A thin veil of protection
A line of hidden meaning,
A dark threat to my spirit,
Soon I will be bleeding

My Penship is now a martyr
Twice finger limbs have been cut
But I will never stop the write
Though my hand is truly fucked.

Domino

Dont repeat this writing
Do not say these words
Pronounce no more,
or chaos will resume.
Midnight will become timeless
Darkness unleashed
Bringing out the horrors
And flesh will be consumed.
Cursed is a curse
Non believing makes it worse
Don’t tempt it out
To play in the light,
Dancing on bones,
It will strike the leader
The biggest ego among men
Slashing the laughter
Blood staining homes.
Smile if you will
Joke at my expense
Even though your mind is scared
And your lips tightly shut,
For it hears all
Flays to be fed
Will not stop or relent
To feed its rotting gut.
Do not share I plead
My conscience is now clear
The fault will not be mine
If blood runs in your tears.

I Dont like Wednesdays

I Don’t Like Wednesdays

Days are set in limbo
To which I will explode,
These times I’ve grown to hate
With Life falling on this date,
Clocks have all the power
Striking on doomed hours,
Wilting bodies until raw
Curling naked in a ball,
Drowning in self sweat
Flooding rooms with regret,
Please wake me up on the bell
When the days are not in hell.

Only you know me

I think I’m too afraid,
But I know,
If I don’t soon, I will fade,
Eventually, I will let go

Even If I fail, I will try
No more will I hide,
If I unsuccessfully die,
At least I have tried

Let me go if I’m cold,
Eyes shut never blinking,
I was never meant to grow old,
Dont question my thinking

And Dont blame the view
I just like the sea
And I dont blame you,
It’s all on me

Blog Article

Last week I was approached by a Entertainment Blog/website called Arcane lost, if I could write an article on mental health, as they had seen my work on my own blog.

A week later my article is live on their website check it out;

How to Fight OCD and Intrusive Thoughts Without Medication.