No I don’t want to go
Can’t you see it in my eyes?
Too late, the fear has grabbed me backwards,
Rocking my senses,
Encroaching in my mind.
I feel the endless pit in my stomach,
Taste the blood in my mouth,
Physically true and real happenings,
Results of the symptoms of fear.
The only illusion is the dark before me,
And the voices whispering false truths,
Confirming I should be afraid.
To freeze would mean an endless limbo
Of excruciating pain,
Fighting no option, as I would just be punching shadows.
Flight seems to warmly pierce my thoughts.
I stand alone in body and mind, facing travesty all around,
Frozen in an hellish silence with all hope lost.
Then without warning my shoulders are seized.
Not by claws or talons, more like enlarged fingers attached to strong muscle,
Like an exaggerated humans foot,
Only softer and warm to touch.
A Firm grip lifts me from the cold slab from which I’m perched.
I don’t see the face of my saviour
Only the sound of a force flapping against gravity.
A white feather escapes its host and floats down before me,
Signalling peace and freedom.
I know now I’m being carried to safety,
By my guardian who saw it worthwhile to intervene.
As a passenger soaring upwards towards the light,
I look down to the abyss from which I came.
It still whispers and reaches at its prey,
Seething as it’s fodder takes flight,
Escaping their clutches of seduction.
Something I can only describe as demon makes one last attempt to pull me down to the underbelly of life,
Where confusion and guilt is rife.
It fails, my winged guardian drives up full force,
Sensing the threat of danger from below,
Knowing a desperate monster has no boundaries or honour, to a soul they’ve lost and failed to pollute.
I almost allow myself a smile as I fly away…
And then I awake.
Lied in bed lethargic and mentally exhausted,
Pondering whether this vision was a dream or reality.
I decide not to answer,
Questions of doubt lead to darkness, and I’ve only just escaped.
For now I will sleep, listening to my heartbeat,
And counting my breaths.
As my eyes shut in peace,
The vision of a feather is the last thing I see,
Gently floating in and out of consciousness.