Survivors Guilt

Being alive
Means living, mourning the dead
Burdening the guilt
Of an innocent passing
Should have been me instead.
Please, take this life
That’s been self condemned
A mind half crazy
Not on the mend.
Any contact between the once alive
And all that was said
Reacts in my mind
Affecting my heart
Catching up to my head.
Leave the untainted souls
I wish to be taken
Took early by the gods of life
But they’ve been mistaken.
Up until their untimely deaths
I’ve just been holding on
I’m happy to let go
To relinquish this breathing con.
I cower at funerals, saying goodbye
Head down diverted
From the deceased families eyes.
As my heart still beats
It feels like a timeless curse
Take me, my life is expendable
I don’t live it as it’s worth.

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