Flavour

Senses turning against reality
Honing in on the rotten
Overpowering any sweetness
Polluting the mind
Affecting the body.

The anxiety appears in sweat
Soaking the bare clothes
Saturating any social events
With toxic thinking
Turning to toxic odours.

Thoughts say I’m unkempt
It realeases as a truth in wetness
Soaking my life from the pits.
Buts it’s an illusion of the brain
Worrying about the future event
Causing anxiety to rise
And for the flood to come true.

My depressive scent
Separates me from society
Isolates me from possible relationships
Forcing my hand to Stay indoors
Showering the stink away
Countless times a day.
In that moment I’m clean
Until I step outside the door
Then sweat begins once more,
Overpowering any soap
Giving a sensation and urge
To peel away the skin.

Saviour was a biological solution
Leading to side effects of the body,
But at least that phase of life ran dry
Causing a drought of the body.
Finially one less worry from inside my shell.
Anxiety still condemned me
Not to leave the house
But in my own company at least,
My fragrance didn’t smell.

My new book

Featuring poetry about mental health – included are OCD, Anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, social isolation, suicide, addiction and many other mental health issues I’ve had to combat.

I’m hoping people can relate and then maybe be encouraged to share their own stories in art form and be creative with their mental health. Follow the link to find out more.

Encryption of the Mind https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/152891435X/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_Nt4IDb5W365Z1

Pendulum

A stranger to family
Though no black sheep,
A white angel
Born to mix up the pure
Voice the occasion
And relax at achievement.

If we died knowing what we really were
We would leave no mystery,
That lies in death
And the memories of the conscious.

Belief of the condemned
May show the path to enlightenment,
Dependant on the creativity
And imagination buried in the unconscious

Do we believe in the scenery
Devised on panic and choice,
Truth is, we are complicit
To the eventuality contrived
By experience
And the stories of our senses.

As family show remorse to the passing
They imagine their own divine termination,
Twisting it to fit a peaceful goodbye
While praying for more time
To design their own salvation.

Feels like seven

Body aching and the mind sore
Affects of liquid draining sorrows, from nights before
Soul stretched out, glaring at the weeks pain
Flickers of memories being rabid and vain

Effects worn off, mind takes in reality
Pain relief worn away, chemical glass half empty
Beginning of the wèek like a deep mist
Plodding in deeper, mind hitting fist

Hate being in the middle, all my life there
Can taste the weeks flavour, thoughts have no flair
Mind pulling in and away, forcing a strain
Wishing my life away; a life built on pain

One more sleepless night until sorrows drowned
Chemical suppressant lined up and downed
Today caught in limbo, half searching soul
Jumping forward, alert, no complete control

Guilt of past had, now long forgotten
Head looking forward, heart scent of rotten
Endless feelings of waves of waste
Mental and physical leaving bad taste

Wake with the curse, enjoyment and regret
Remembering some, others hard to forget
Body and soul forever spinning round
Drill in the mind, pain with no sound

Two nights of fun, memory wipe drinking
Truth hard to swallow, soul slowly sinking
Friends have an edge, a look, and a tone
The worst part is feeling completely alone

Paradise

Man said ‘I will listen’
But hear he does not,
A trampled soul shouts for mortality
The world falls deaf,
A false leap is threatened
The crowd go blind,

We drain the rivers
After the soul has drowned,
Pump the stomach
When life is empty,
And break down bridges
To bury the skeleton.

Local guilt heals with time
And becomes no crime,
In the aftermath signs were seen
And remorse takes over.
At this point
‘Ask for help’ they say
But fear suffocates any voice

And even though
Life is at half mast
Balanced on the tip of no return
Hope falls heavily to the side of silence,
Irrationality persuades the mind
To now just save the breath,
Use final energy to rebound fear
Summon a last act of courage,
Find peace in the unknown
And walk closer to death.

Psycho

Impotence a form of defence
The minds subtle persuasion towards avoidance,
To fight the feeling of this false protection
We must lash out
And lash out we will,
Destroying relationships and bonds until…
It becomes too much
Forcing the tightrope to shake,
That is why impotence slows the will
Suffocates belief to a warped state
Of self preservation,
Saving what we fear the most,
Rejection and heart break.

Living with the depression
Begs us to ask the question
‘What else could we of become?’
But the mind sees through these lies,
Highlights the subconscious excuse
Then buries it.
But you can’t un-ring the bell
Truth lyes in the feelings,
Struggles with the muddy dealings
Of survival.
Sorely and painfully, knowledge sets us free,
Thriving, never arriving without pain.

We then live in the mire of regret,
A trap of anxiety to reboot,
But never re-enter that game
Patiently walk to the clearing,
Acknowledge allowance it’s normal to fall,
Allow that voice that your hearing
And be the version of yourself
That you first once saw.

Burn the Portraits

No matter what our minds tell us
We all feed at the same table
Others choose to leave
Some are not able

Once I spoke what I heard
And was hit with ridicule
I wrote it down in words
And become my own hero

When we die
We all become ashes
A blink of the worlds eye
A life over in flashes

Psychologygically out of place
Psychologically stable
We all have the one face
And feed round the same table