Broken

Broken

If you notice how I feel
Please don’t go ahead and ask
As my tears will start to surface
And wash away my mask

You stare in to my eyes
To notice I’m not blinking
Please keep my aching secret
That inside my heart is sinking

I will just get through this moment
Squeeze my hand, but keep my lie
My strength will suppress my tears
Only alone will I break and cry.

Is This The Real Life.

Seclusion disturbs the stages,
The erratic plates of the mind,
Causing Eruptions of static rages
Shouting off, blinkered and blind,

Craters form at the bottom of the sea
Bottomless holes, cold and deep,
Lying mystic as a human subconscious,
Under a rock, where secrets seep

Only Sudden Trauma unlocks it secrets,
Forever Untouched, hidden and unseen,
Once opened be prepared for preservation,
For trauma reveals itself, only In screams

Exposure plays tricks with stories of the dead,
Condemning the closest people at heart,
Ripping family memories to distorted shreds,
And splits a once calm sanity apart.

The equator to madness Is very fine,
Leading uncertainty on a turbulent dance,
Stretching facts to fit the signs,
That chaos is coming, given the chance.

Nightmares are worse, when hells awoken,
Reacting evil, to noise and to light,
People pray such words are never spoken,
And that eyes stay shut, for a restful still night.

Lies become real, in blackness of dreams,
People of reality will watch and weep,
As their love one, trembles, stirs, and screams,
From the illusion its facing, inside their dark sleep.

Sacred Beliefs

Sacred Beliefs –
Trapped awake in an underworld grave
Nerve broken, fall through trapdoor of existence
Hell fire singes, burns the brave
Feel the ache, cremate the resistance

Cornered deep in the inferno pit
Dragged, convinced by a dastard martyr
Released by creator, pulled where Diablo sits
The life and soul used only for barter

Swap alliance, beast grips the key
Vault empty, famished journey to the abyss
The deal with Hellion never for free
Hard release from the devil’s kiss

Possessed, a blackened dark ordeal
Head heavy from a brimming inferno
Long term urchins pinch and steal
Pray to above from agonies below

Trust a fake adversary, eyes an amazer
Rogue fiend selects a brimstone keeper
Promotes purgatory, wings cut by razor
Loss of soul to a Lucifer sleeper

A Hades, escape through a torrid chasm
Nightmare imagery, fire burns the skin
Satan smiles the route with sarcasm
Worth a severe risk for a divine sin

Mystical renovation, an underworld thaw
A spiritual point where solution is made
Hope with flamed emotion devours all
Imagined Hell, a place not to be afraid.

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Am I now or have I ever been…

Am I now or have I ever been?

Externally and physically
Inviting to the opposite sex,
Internally and emotionally
Distant and frigid to love,
Forever lost,
Doubting my place, my goodness
And my worth to another.

Pushing away sweetness and warmth,
Ignore a face of beauty,
An opportunity to share life
By treating closeness as a threat,
Consciously self harming the connection,
Tearing apart romance and trust,
Feeling guilty and broken inside,
But long term, I felt, I must.

No love left
I was bereft,
So many good people lost
To a mind of no confidence,
A charm with no substance,
And a heart that self destructs
When touched

Am I now,
Or have I ever been
Worthy of a free conscious,
To be finially empty of self pity and sabotage,
Why did I always condemn my soul
To isolation?

I will not know the answer
For I no more question my place,
By choice I add truthfully, not by avoidance,
I now live in some kind of elation
When a precious connection presents itself
As a friend.

Those who befriended me in my youth,
And even at present
I salute you,
Conversation never comes easy,
Though fleeing does,
For us to both stand our grounds
And endure for friendship
Is a lifeline to some,
And a miracle of development,
In character and personality,
For a sufferer of worry and displacement
Like me.

Half Empty

As deep as I am
My heart is shallow,
Like a dried up well
Where springs once fell
And now lies fallow.

Blood circles cold
Round my body of existence,
But once insecurity is fed
It stains where I bled
Drowning self resistance.

My mind fills with fog
Offering aspects of confusion,
But one thing that’s clear
I’m forever here
Is this life of illusion.

Bravery lays redundant
And as honest as I speak
The soul will shake
Then the voices will awake,
Confounding I’m weak.

Raining in Paradise

Tormented by the taste
Of the fermented drink.
A self inflicted punishment
That leads to perdition.

Individuals hear the calls of the delusional,
Screaming or shouting in confusion
Scratching at the walls
Fighting to flee a false enemy.

When will it resolve
The feelings of guilt or solitude.
Surely, solution lies with quick ends
Other then slow diminishing pain,
Breathless days,
And a Swinging of moods.

Deathly dropping into permanent sleep
The only salvation,
Dreaming of wondrous times
Becomes bringer of peace,
To the chaos mind affected.

Blood no longer matters
Alcohol has polluted the viens,
The same person that once was,
No longer exists,
Now the poison,
Has reached the dark side of the brain.