Posts by Chris Chant

Poems, stories and lyrical workings. Words and thoughts of an OCD mind. Original, genuine, from the heart. Keeping it real.

Sacred Beliefs

Sacred Beliefs –
Trapped awake in an underworld grave
Nerve broken, fall through trapdoor of existence
Hell fire singes, burns the brave
Feel the ache, cremate the resistance

Cornered deep in the inferno pit
Dragged, convinced by a dastard martyr
Released by creator, pulled where Diablo sits
The life and soul used only for barter

Swap alliance, beast grips the key
Vault empty, famished journey to the abyss
The deal with Hellion never for free
Hard release from the devil’s kiss

Possessed, a blackened dark ordeal
Head heavy from a brimming inferno
Long term urchins pinch and steal
Pray to above from agonies below

Trust a fake adversary, eyes an amazer
Rogue fiend selects a brimstone keeper
Promotes purgatory, wings cut by razor
Loss of soul to a Lucifer sleeper

A Hades, escape through a torrid chasm
Nightmare imagery, fire burns the skin
Satan smiles the route with sarcasm
Worth a severe risk for a divine sin

Mystical renovation, an underworld thaw
A spiritual point where solution is made
Hope with flamed emotion devours all
Imagined Hell, a place not to be afraid.

#poetry #poems #writers #writersofinstagram #reading #ocd #writing #running #disorder #suicide #anxiety #depression #bipolar #author #poetryencryptionmind #naturephotography #nature #photography #heaven #hell #motivationalquotes #readers

Am I now or have I ever been…

Am I now or have I ever been?

Externally and physically
Inviting to the opposite sex,
Internally and emotionally
Distant and frigid to love,
Forever lost,
Doubting my place, my goodness
And my worth to another.

Pushing away sweetness and warmth,
Ignore a face of beauty,
An opportunity to share life
By treating closeness as a threat,
Consciously self harming the connection,
Tearing apart romance and trust,
Feeling guilty and broken inside,
But long term, I felt, I must.

No love left
I was bereft,
So many good people lost
To a mind of no confidence,
A charm with no substance,
And a heart that self destructs
When touched

Am I now,
Or have I ever been
Worthy of a free conscious,
To be finially empty of self pity and sabotage,
Why did I always condemn my soul
To isolation?

I will not know the answer
For I no more question my place,
By choice I add truthfully, not by avoidance,
I now live in some kind of elation
When a precious connection presents itself
As a friend.

Those who befriended me in my youth,
And even at present
I salute you,
Conversation never comes easy,
Though fleeing does,
For us to both stand our grounds
And endure for friendship
Is a lifeline to some,
And a miracle of development,
In character and personality,
For a sufferer of worry and displacement
Like me.

Half Empty

As deep as I am
My heart is shallow,
Like a dried up well
Where springs once fell
And now lies fallow.

Blood circles cold
Round my body of existence,
But once insecurity is fed
It stains where I bled
Drowning self resistance.

My mind fills with fog
Offering aspects of confusion,
But one thing that’s clear
I’m forever here
Is this life of illusion.

Bravery lays redundant
And as honest as I speak
The soul will shake
Then the voices will awake,
Confounding I’m weak.

Raining in Paradise

Tormented by the taste
Of the fermented drink.
A self inflicted punishment
That leads to perdition.

Individuals hear the calls of the delusional,
Screaming or shouting in confusion
Scratching at the walls
Fighting to flee a false enemy.

When will it resolve
The feelings of guilt or solitude.
Surely, solution lies with quick ends
Other then slow diminishing pain,
Breathless days,
And a Swinging of moods.

Deathly dropping into permanent sleep
The only salvation,
Dreaming of wondrous times
Becomes bringer of peace,
To the chaos mind affected.

Blood no longer matters
Alcohol has polluted the viens,
The same person that once was,
No longer exists,
Now the poison,
Has reached the dark side of the brain.

Taken

Long live the memories, the lessons
And the scars.
The fun has surpassed, living life and fast cars.
Bring out the coffin, the bringer of mystery
Wrapped in riches of new, brimming of history
Horns will blare and even grown men shall weep
As the parade glides by to telegraph this sleep.
For this day only, not one thing is the same
Each conversation begins with the mention of their name
The eyes were alight, but now they stand cold
Voyaged in a Carriage, with wheels made of gold.
Dry the tissues, wipe away velvet tears
Substitute frowns with smiles and silent cheers
Memories flood, and emotions will sway
Leave the sadness where you stand, on this lone surreal day.

Reflection

Avoid all, still not missed
Replays of friends who still exist
Thoughts cloudy of partners kissed
Many reunions, not on list
A ghost alive in this time
Head an alarm, heart a chime
Mortality clouds an open head
Life be easier without dread
Flashbacks penetrate, hard sharp funnel
Retreating briefly, a deafly tunnel

Boredom, no loneliness
Bordering mad, bordering mess
Panic rises, need more haste
Blood spilled, leaves bad taste
Cut on skin, scrape on mind
A bloody favour, being kind

Impulse brings clammy splatters
Wall, floor, neither matters
Ceramic sink tainted red
Shallow cùt, far from dead
Choice made, closer to life
Drop blade, clean stained knife
Fighting with each shallow breath
Retreat from the near bitter death

Admit faltering defeat, move shock to motion
Fallout with breaths, wash scars with rain
Expect the time that will define the future,
Of being able to face the mirror image again.

Dear Papa

Tread upon my memory
Twist the past to suit
So now I dwell in silence
And cry for help in mute.

You cannot talk for dread
Of upsetting your life of now
A coward never thinks
Just nods his head and bows

Similar in physicality
Only way that we’re the same
When people ask about me
You stutter at my name.

Deny any blood relations
Making young generations cry
When they knock the door in decades
Will you look them in the eye.

And repeat…

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.

Storm never came

Balance is one of lifes skills
Steering a ship through a perfect storm
The ideal happening is to be still
In todays world, thats not the norm.

To find the perfect place in life,
Peace, warmth and tranquillity
Opposite feels like a sharp knife,
or out of breath, bottom of the sea

Weighing up the moments of our time
Mood dependant on rain or shine
Mind topples with the weight of it all,
Playful imaginings, turning suicidal

Would it hurt to give nature a nudge,
Hoping survival wouldn’t bare a grudge
If fate steps in and breaks my fall,
I could land on middle ground I wasn’t looking for

Feeling drunk when not even drinking
On solid ground, but inside sinking
Point of no return is not forgiving
Decisions near death, as hard as near living

I knew someone who acted on doubt,
So I’ve always seen it as a way out.

I started to worry when my mind went quiet,
So this is my idea of a spoken riot,
Putting it all down for all to see,
How this was an option, taken seriously

Looking at it now, it feels of nonsense
In death, I never wanted life on my conscience
I talked, I listened, i called my own bluff,
Luckily for me, in the end, enough was never enough.

Mercy

Would you use one of your wishes
To swim below with the Fishes,
Or as a bee attracted to honey
Be seduced to taste endless money

I’d wish for the sun and sea
Endless until I stop to breathe,
Often wishes end as regrets
Tears falling until the sun sets

I’d pass one away to a close stranger
One that looks not far from danger
Pass the burden to set me free
Until that wish transcends back to me.