Unofficial Friends

Now the pain has decreased from my heart
The force from others is strong and stalks
Hard to be neighbouring for fear of being pulled under
Once my empathy laid low, now it gladly talks
Fight or flight, flight is to flee from the crowd
Their emotions burn and frustrate the internal light
A forced hand gives a gift to help people
Silent voices have grown noisy and bright

Ignorance is for the weak, empathy for the strong
Quieten own torment gives hope to clamp down others
Whispers are shouts heard through loud mediums
Their parents children, rejected by society mothers
Listening is vital, accepted is desired
Once heard entitled to breakdown and cry
An acoustic ear has never been so powerful
Emotions congruent, a glare picks up a lie

Nerves affecting both sides, each brave and alone
Strangers are closer through speech and a mutual stare
Powerful bond that stems from separate trauma
A weaponless ally that shifts on opposite chair
A commitment made, a relationship formed
Built on emotion, pain and the spoken word
One listens, hears, holds its partners past
Each human equal, just wanted to be heard

Distracted and advasive but time needs time
In the beginning we are all free falling
Resistance and confusion veers from chosen path
Reminded and affirmed this is their internal calling

A damaged voice may carry many passengers
A story with many long psychological wars
Dual heads held high by a relational depth
This the first step in a trip of emotional tours.

Open Book

My history is no mystery. It’s shines in the background, as do I.

My life is an open book, if you ask I shall tell you the truth of my afflictions.

OCD, agoraphobia, depression, all haunted my soul for so long. Making me feel guilt and pain for no reason. Polluting my thoughts with never-ending negative whirlwinds.

Sometimes it was hard to think of what to believe. The truth inside me, or the inner voice spouting falsehoods and creating a dark landscape for me to follow.

I learned to diminish these happenings, put aside the demon to the sides of me.

Only then could I breathe clean air, think clear thoughts and live a truth, not a lie.

My character has, and always will remain intact. My soul has been tainted by ill mental health, but my fight and vision lies true.

CRY

When you go to sleep
I shall weep

In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call

Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow

Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour

Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell

Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift

Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep

Hells Mouth

Sliding through the narrow throat
Boiling blood a black hearts moat
Swallowed whole, with body complete
Forked tounge radiating white heat

Naively seduced to a fiendish trap
Entrapment from the demons lap
Keep not all your enemies close
Or soon ending up as an innocent dose

Wearing human skin as clothes
With webbed feet and claws as toes
Scattered screams of pain and hurt
Echoing laugh a monsters chirp

Acid spills tempting to erupt
Churning bodies in the fiery gut
Circle of life, destruction of death
Our souls now part of the devils breath.

Anxiety

Shadow Self

Looking forward to the weekend
Drinking and socializing with mates
Half excited, half wrenching
In case the conversation turns to dates,
Of more nights or future holidays
Things on the spot I agree to
Pit of my stomach is yearning
I will avoid each one, and I do!
Talk of glory days I’ve missed
In the crowd but still alone
Detached, looking down from above
Lies and guilt, I could never atone,

But they’re a good bunch of friends
Initially I’m always included
In my head yes, no, yes, no
The reality, I feel excluded,
Listening out for the question
Waiting to be asked
Just for it to be over
For them it’s just a task,
An unspoken air of formality
Asking and I say yes
The elephant in the room is reality
Knowing I will let them down by text,

Not real great times, always on edge
But that was as good as it got,
They still think I’m some kind of ledge
But I know I’m not,
What I’d felt back then, wasn’t really me
I kinda knew, but today I know
And if I could live those days again,
I’d just go along with the normal flow,
Past is gone now, no time for regrets
Looking back I feel kind of blessed,
Because they’re a good bunch of friends
And my issues? No-one could have guessed.

Rain or Shine

Rainbows speak of reincarnated souls
Revisiting their loves ones
One last time,
Using colours to spark smiles
Memories, and a warmth to the soul.
No other wonder can eclipse the serinity
Given inside
Or the view that challenges belief,
A miracle spectrum and an insight of heaven
Produced in a wave of inspiration
As a gift for all to see.
When the mind is lost to the dark
And the colour fades from life
Stride out of the storm
And search for that Rainbow