Anxiety

Shadow Self

Looking forward to the weekend
Drinking and socializing with mates
Half excited, half wrenching
In case the conversation turns to dates,
Of more nights or future holidays
Things on the spot I agree to
Pit of my stomach is yearning
I will avoid each one, and I do!
Talk of glory days I’ve missed
In the crowd but still alone
Detached, looking down from above
Lies and guilt, I could never atone,

But they’re a good bunch of friends
Initially I’m always included
In my head yes, no, yes, no
The reality, I feel excluded,
Listening out for the question
Waiting to be asked
Just for it to be over
For them it’s just a task,
An unspoken air of formality
Asking and I say yes
The elephant in the room is reality
Knowing I will let them down by text,

Not real great times, always on edge
But that was as good as it got,
They still think I’m some kind of ledge
But I know I’m not,
What I’d felt back then, wasn’t really me
I kinda knew, but today I know
And if I could live those days again,
I’d just go along with the normal flow,
Past is gone now, no time for regrets
Looking back I feel kind of blessed,
Because they’re a good bunch of friends
And my issues? No-one could have guessed.

Rain or Shine

Rainbows speak of reincarnated souls
Revisiting their loves ones
One last time,
Using colours to spark smiles
Memories, and a warmth to the soul.
No other wonder can eclipse the serinity
Given inside
Or the view that challenges belief,
A miracle spectrum and an insight of heaven
Produced in a wave of inspiration
As a gift for all to see.
When the mind is lost to the dark
And the colour fades from life
Stride out of the storm
And search for that Rainbow

Its Only Words

Shed ink instead of blood
As unattended thoughts leads to anguish,
Congruent flowed words speak truth
And the Pain will disperse fluently through the letters,
Tear drops will fall, producing the ink to run
Spilling a web of blackness telling it’s own story,
A minor irritation to tolerate
As words from a emotive heart cannot lie,
They reflect back to a strangers eyes
Strengthening with every view,
Their breath will shallow as reality of your painted picture plays out,
deftly speaking to the reader,

Echoes of hurt touch the senses that play on the soul
Communicating deeply in every language,
Emotions speak blindly, never restraining
Or releasing it’s power,
Books are alive as you and I
as long as it’s written it breathes.
Release the pain by solidifying unguarded thoughts
Describe hell as it’s seen uniquely,
Mental stigma is immortal through the ages
In our history people expressed in words of code
Composing life as if you’re embedded on the pages
Guarantees in time your story will be told.

Split second

The soul is like the sun
It can’t be tamed
So don’t try to blinker life
Or pass the energy on to others.
It will haunt and taunt
Surrounding the clouded spirit
Until pressure erupts
Controlling the present path.
How you transform in that moment
is down to choice.
Control becomes immune to hesitation
Seize the colour inside
Create an unique aura
Or dark will take over