A thought ‘What if,
Revealed as A gift
From the devil,
Once hearing the words
They can’t be unheard.
Statement for the foolish
Whose beliefs fall inside comfort,
Where only black and white exists
Living Joy swapped for awkwardness
Motivated and elated
Until intrusive doubt hits,
Irrational thoughts whisper
‘What if, what if’
Spoiling a moment on high
Disfiguring the feeling
Of laughing to a cry
Humour swamped by fear,
Freedom put in pockets
Until the unsuspecting host
Lays in wait for a chemical reprieve
From a biological resolution
A Pill to recieve.
When tablets run dry
Whose there to clear the sky
From the blue clouds,
Frustrated on a belief so false
Constantly Irritates general functions,
The guilt hurts the most
Unsuspectingly the will gives in,
It Surrenders to the voices
That bring emotions of doom
To the places where you once sang,
The choice from this time
Is not whether to run or fight,
Curl up and freeze,
Its whether to jump or hang
When time passes by what’s left. Regret, guilt and shame, being bored?. Is that a life to live, a story to share with young loved ones.
No, procrastinating is an humorous excuse used too often. If you want to live a calm, comfortable life then that’s fine, but don’t talk bigger, or imagine a better future if you’re happy.
No-one wants to hear stories of excuses and what-if stories of things that could’ve happened to them.
Lost dreams take up to much air space and mind room. There’s nothing to stop a productive imagination reproducing what it sees. Living the dreams that seem far away.
You just have to want it bad enough, to be bothered to try and grasp it with both hands.
Everyone loves a trier, even if you fail you tried. Tell the story of how you went for it, how you followed your heart. It’s an adventure if nothing else.
There’s no way to recreate the feelings of a light bulb moment when it hits. The excitement it projects.
Do it before it’s too late.
This speech is inside my head every day. My gut telling me I want more. And there’s only one way…
Every decision feels like a life threatening choice. The mind choosing an option, changing it’s mind, then changing it back again.
Every day decisions, like where to go out, or what to eat. The doubts of an anxious mind put different scenarios in your head, making it a tormenting life.
Always questioning whether you’ve made the right choice. It’s a hard way to live. A lonely place of guilt and living on nerves.
That’s how anxiety and depression fights happiness. Putting doubt and fear in safe situations.
It’s the most disabling crush on ones sanity…
Choose to climb
and escape the stone walls
that close in
like a dampening breath to the neck,
The goosebumps are real
coldness can’t be faked
neither can the dread which creeps from below,
Move or perish
from the hesitant pause
that captures indecisive minds
freezing the will to submission.
Or leave it to fate,
Let go and fall in to emptiness
become weightless in body and mind,
Float down star shaped
with eyes unable to close
as you look upward bidding farewell
part of the punishment of surrendering to hell,
Light dissolves in seconds
free falling in to darkness
to an eternal expanse.
Deviant whispers from nowhere
keep you from sleep
A choice to make,
Fall and drown forever as a prisoner
or climb and fight.
Is our future already written? Is that why some of us suffer, because we see glimpses of what’s to come. While others are blind to it. Living happy but blind to what lays ahead.
No of course not. Just another theory my messy mind has come up with to justify my avoiding, and testing myself in anxious situations. Giving up instead of increasing the effort.
Whatever is true, whatever the ending, make the beginning and middle honest, happy and true.
Change The Ending
The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts, deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition, not nearer nor faster
Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct, repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change
An unconscious unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending is where a new first begins.