Torture inside

Shine a light to forgiveness
And the weight of the heart will tighten
Ending the dark path to grudges
Allowing tight breath to lighten

Pain not visible with the eye
But as a cloud its lifted
Only overgrown roads remain
Emotional state has shifted

Maybe once fear ruled the kingdom
In time Invaded by rational control
Thoughts steered back onto reality
Saving mind, sanity, and the soul.

Set Free

Save myself by creating heartbreak
Ending affection for ending sake
Not personal, a quick draw decision
Wouldn’t of lasted, said my premonition
Of a close soul breaking my heart
To escape I quickly force it apart
Convinced my dark vision is true
Before it’s me I’ll end it with you
Romance is dead but the pain lives
Couldn’t control the doubt love gives,
living life with stop and starts
Short lived dates and broken hearts

The one set loose will find a match
To with feelings, there is no catch
No pits of empty days or sorrow
No happy one day, down tomorrow
By then the jealously creeps to bite
Thinking about them close at night
With an anxious mind it’s hard to confide
The insecurity locked inside

Can’t commit to time or to lust
Defences are high in the aspect of trust
Testing to see who will try and return
Loneliness the only lesson to learn
Always looking for that one salvation
Who saves me from my false self-preservation

Bones

Crack an egg with flippant innocence
Yolk pours out as blood
Run towards a hopeful resurgence
End face down, into the mud

Crawl to find a crowded peace
Drag breakages up so steep
Cries of help welcomed and received
Who cares who sees you weep.

Split second collapse takes the wind
Falling down upon the sword
Disfigurement will never rescind
Never perfect, always flawed

Once I sat and thought alone
Fears dormant in the head, never spoken
Now I view my offset bone
Terrified, it’s not just my mind that’s broken.

Summary

First thoughts I dispense with caution

Notion with an ironic flaw

A split second occurrence

With no stage for reflection

Containing irrational undertones

Speed ‘Becomes’ essence

Dismay is uncontrolled

Outlines feasible complications Conversation is to-be heeded

True words believed, transpired with time

Character prevails via choices

Shaped by unrushed competence

Instant verbs evolve and mature

Sharp decisions cease to race

Knowledgeable peace combines

Sheds light on existence

Judgement swallowed by reality

Being misconceived becomes scarce

Harmony elected with a mutual dignity.

Fallen

When sat alone
With the weight of blood
Panicked in solitude
Restricted from external wounds
Do we cry,
Or lie down upon the sympathy?
Voicing the same tale
To heighten ears
Imagining on empathic fears
Which soon dies
From curious eyes.
The scars of eternity sparks interest
To unknown generations
Seeking if the whispers are truth.
They are, if not worse,
Bones were cracked
Shock crushed the breath,
The story revealed forever wrapped in light
Never disclosing
How close we were to death.

Changes

The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition not nearer nor faster

Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change

An unconscious unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending, is where a new first begins.

Stitches

When asleep

It’s peace as in death

No dreams or feeling

Nothing.

Surgery sends the mind

To limbo

Breathing though vacant in thought.

Split second coma

Opens the conscious

Letting the present seep out

Keeping pain away.

Fate in surgeons hands

The fear dying in silent mystery

Surrender myself to a higher power

I am yours to mend or destroy.

Awoken by strangers after long hours

Wiping free the blood from stains

Of the stitches which tell the story

Why metal was wrapped around veins.