Eclipse of the Flesh

Do the stars trouble the moon
Or the clouds the sky?
Sincerely not, they live in perfect tranquillity.
So why does the mind trouble the soul
Bring blackness to light
And doubt in to harmony and reality.
We think therefore we explore
Pushing boundaries where entanglement cannot be undone,
Where sanity is breached
To a place where torment only lies.
At this time we wander the future and past
Falling backwards or forwards
Never balancing on the present
Believing the mystical over the substantial.
The fight is not Demon or Angel,
Thoughts are the rulers of pained outcome
The totem of the body
The all seeing eye,
Parading imagination as a false God
Seeking mortality with a corporeal shell.
Don’t believe what is null and vacant
The mind torments the soul
But invisibility evaporates.
The true saviour is the heart that beats
It repels all blackness
Pulls in love and locks in place a safe retreat
To visit in times of cold desolation.
Follow the veins of warmth and grasp with open arms,
Shut out the empty voices
And through the rapture never let go.

Found in the corner

A Human shape of dark gold,

picture of a fallen angel,

Though out of tears of humanity

comes beauty,

A Stage where the devil danced

sits a heart full of romance,

Skin cold to the touch,

narrow eyes say so much,

Demons plead to vanity

betraying oneself through insanity,

rages of a daggers thrust,

again, never be able to trust

Left at the bottom starved of humanity,

begging loud for sanity,

Mouth drying for life of hunger

physically harming to creep from slumber,

A soul of sugar succumbed to salt,

guilt embedded, self always at fault

Be the soul that Holds the hand

to Lift the person from the ground,

Acknowledge those Deep Blue eyes of fright,

buried inside hides a light

Hold my Hand (listen up)

Born cold, naked, alone and reeling,

External voices give love and feeling,

Assigned guardians protecting the soul from danger,

Only listeners now are the professional strangers,

Comes a time when there’s no understanding,

Racing thoughts free falling, never landing,

A loneliness leading to a fatal event,

Humans need to evolve, to see and prevent,

Exaggerated smiling a mask of pretend,

Pre-planning inside how and when it will end,

False empathy feels the rebound of shock,

Tears fall from deaf persecutors who mocked,

Surrounded by intelligence and warm blood,

Who have time only, for their own emotional flood,

Helplessness binds tight, held with no strap,

Doors of life closing on this too frequent trap,

An unanswerable question the finger of blame,

Just decided somewhere, time to extinguish the flame,

Silence crying out for any intervention,

Signs abundant that displayed the intention,

Too blind to see? Too many to mention,

History won’t reverse for any redemption,

With only benign friends left on the shelf,

No-one to listen, can only turn to yourself,

Which can only lead to a toxic affair,

Ending fatally with a still deathly stare,

From a corse cold slab, made of stone,

Here lies the final image, of feeling alone.

Suicide

Trying to create awareness.

An honest account of my near suicide thoughts and experiences, along with dealing with intrusive thoughts of suicide, for a majority of my life.

Touching briefly on witnessing suicide first hand and the emotions that follow. A poem on suicide to finish. Permission has been sought and granted by any third parties mentioned.

 

https://www.thecalmzone.net/   – The website for C.A.L.M, The campaign against living miserably. They deal with people who are feeling suicidal and families of suicides. A really good charity for anyone looking for answers on this topic.

Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this hole
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out from your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand.

Transition

The grey makes a becoming change,
Where it was dark, there’s now light,
The future wasn’t written just blanked out,
From dense and heavy to very bright

The journey from the dark came with struggles,
Obsessions came with their own withdrawal,
Finally breaking free liberated the pressures,
Now able to catch yourself if you fall

Inspiring the mind to keep the flame burning,
Blackness still beckons with a whimpering hand,
Journey from there to here has many obstacles,
You can now judge you! and understand

It’s about being honest and true,
Get out and be proud of how you feel,
Keep your head high and be much more,
Part of being yourself is keeping it real

Thoughts and feelings are now words and verse,
Part of showing the world what you can do,
The personal expectations have been lifted,
There’s no limit to where life can take you

Depression

It’s not a joke that worried look
And yes there’s such a thing as the blues
Smirking and sneering darkens my colour
This shade is not something I chose

I just need an ear to listen
It hurts when people speak over me
I prefer silence to any advice
Any hint of angst I’ll turn and flee

It’s a feeling not something you see
An invisible monster using sorrow as food
I don’t envy happy or joyous people
Just appreciate when I’m not in the mood

It’s probably really hard to understand
Even harder to try and explain
While you see no wounds on me
My soul is in complete and full pain

Just because I have this and not you
Doesn’t mean it’s not there or real
I’d give anything if just for five minutes
People tried to understand how I feel

Though you feel awkward when I am near
Hard to speak too with no response or sound
I also feel awkward and I’m afraid
That one day your stop coming around

Depression is a word where eyes roll
With sympathy it’s crossed off the list
People treat it the same as how I feel
Which is wishing I just didn’t exist.