My history is no mystery. It’s shines in the background, as do I.
My life is an open book, if you ask I shall tell you the truth of my afflictions.
OCD, agoraphobia, depression, all haunted my soul for so long. Making me feel guilt and pain for no reason. Polluting my thoughts with never-ending negative whirlwinds.
Sometimes it was hard to think of what to believe. The truth inside me, or the inner voice spouting falsehoods and creating a dark landscape for me to follow.
I learned to diminish these happenings, put aside the demon to the sides of me.
Only then could I breathe clean air, think clear thoughts and live a truth, not a lie.
My character has, and always will remain intact. My soul has been tainted by ill mental health, but my fight and vision lies true.
When you go to sleep
I shall weep
In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call
Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow
Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour
Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell
Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift
Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep
Sliding through the narrow throat
Boiling blood a black hearts moat
Swallowed whole, with body complete
Forked tounge radiating white heat
Naively seduced to a fiendish trap
Entrapment from the demons lap
Keep not all your enemies close
Or soon ending up as an innocent dose
Wearing human skin as clothes
With webbed feet and claws as toes
Scattered screams of pain and hurt
Echoing laugh a monsters chirp
Acid spills tempting to erupt
Churning bodies in the fiery gut
Circle of life, destruction of death
Our souls now part of the devils breath.
Night is calling
Eyes bare the weight
of lights burden
creating a pathway
to the calm
Sleep briefly takes
But awakes, Yes!
By the finger poke
A false jump
The world shook?
But somethings afoot
A brain junkie
Dark’s its playground
Times its prey
A friendly foe
Ally of games
Tickles the mind
Tortures the sane
No, not real!
In my mind
Does still calm
Stir the mind?
And dark black
Awake the blind
A false paranoia
Sharing my head with an additional voice
A vigilant double skilfully taking over
Pushing me out to elevate it’s own purpose,
I surrender admitting my failure
Of surviving life and existence
I sense ‘It’ clouding each decision
Questioning my clarity,
I’m happy to pass over this burden
Of hell eclipsed in my mind,
Here take me my dark twin
And thrive in this shell!
When at peace you were benign
At war you became malignant,
Displaying me as diseased
Dropping blood in my tears
I finally fall out of power
Succumbing to the invasion of life,
You win, feel free to dance in my skin
Smile in to the mirror
Touch your recent corporal self
Now I’m the reflection
Buried deep still feeling the emotions
That you chose to suppress,
Unable to die or sleep
Dead though immortal
My slights of anxiety
Now surpassed by your confidence
And sociopathic ways of living,
A shadow of consciousness remains
Trapped in torment, looking up, looking out
A realisation I have undertaken a greatest sin
Shelving responsibility to a misconception,
Seduced by demons or demon
The dark side of my brain,
A mistake too final to comprehend
As long as my visual double still breathes
I shall suffer
Forever awake and forever aware
That my soul, I wasn’t meant to share
Even in the background you can shine
Give it time…
Be the late flower
Who arrives on the hour