Clouds

As with life,
Beauty is seen through blinkered eyes,
Surrounded by shadows and darkness,
Even squinted
See the brilliant brightness
Of the future,
Time is a loop
So wait for the blend,
So the spirit is free to roam,
Back and forth
Balancing between
Light and dark.

Coincidences

The master of disguise never wears a costume
Just hides the sides of his mind,
The myth becomes alive
To the right side of the brain,
It makes us dance to silence
Create with nothing
And paint colours to the sky,
When it takes over
Overcoming the left distant side
You will strive for the feeling
Of exuberance
To last forever,
Never wanting to ever let go,
This is the only way
To move forward and evolve.

Switch

Switch

Bored of the switchboard
Turning in my head
Dialing mostly crazy
Acting out dead

Bored of the switchboard
Forever out of tune
Keep twisting onto normal
But end up on the moon

Thoughts are playing over
Set at the wrong speed
No wonder life is fuzzy
No wonder my nose bleeds

Spinning on a rock pile
Insanity to unique
The only guarantee
Crazy is on repeat.

Underneath the sky

Do you know the fear
Of stepping outside,
Shaking with exhaustion,
To have Convulsions
With the thought
Of impending doom
From venturing in to the world.

Choosing instead to stay
In the zone of comfort,
Ride out the anxiety,
Hide from any knocking doors,
Cover my ears, praying they will leave,
Eyes tightly shut, only opening
To Time watch the clock,
Waiting,
Until the deadline passes
That I was expected.

At this time relief sets in
A weight is lifted,
Able to exhale,
Even though I’ve failed,
Let people down
Through not turning up,
Ruining reputation,
Using up all the forgiveness allowed,
Resulting in bad looks and stares from afar.

Even though because of this,
I’m relieved,
I didn’t have to go,
Put myself through hell
By advancing through the front door,
I can live with this for tonight,
Enjoy the feeling of safety,
Celebrate my avoidance,
I’ve got away with it once again…
Until the next time.

Laughing in the dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.

Turn back time

I miss my friend
He had an affliction,
He never opened up
About his addiction,
But he was full of emotion
And loyalty in life,
If he could help you he would
Without thinking twice,
Drink was his weakness
Friendship his bond,
When suicide came
Everyone bowed to his song,
I’ll never forget my friend
I wish he didn’t die,
When that day comes around
I always look up to the sky.

Amputated

Two fingers amputated due to a work accident.
For a recreational writer and poet it can be a massive setback.
Not being able to make notes quickly, and struggling to get motivated or creative when looking at a loss which is so obvious in front of my face.
Worrying what other people think of my deformity.

But we must crack on and tell our story.
I’ve suffered mentally in the past, and now physically.
Because it’s my writing hand I feel like I’m being tormented or warned by some higher power.

But alas that is just my imagination, which is still fully intact.
I will adapt and embrace the change. Though it may be a slower process, words will still flow and my story will go on…

Two Halves

This poem is featured in the Poetry book – Encryption of the Mind.
Which is now available to buy or download from Amazon and other good bookstores or

https://www.austinmacauley.com/book/encryption-mind
❤👍

Two halves

You may think these words are heavy
It’s hard not to be with mental illness
Most would of stopped reading by now
Some stayed just to be curious

Maybe you stayed because you can relate,
To how it felt and how it affected you
The Love, fear, happiness and hate
We’re constantly have, and are going through

Those first two verses were written when really low,
God, reading it brings me down
But only to a level of understanding
All part of turning your life around

Well, you got this far, and not by chance
Seen off the mysterious voices
Freedom is a wonderful thing
Being able to make life choices

A lot of life has been wasted
Solving an impossible puzzle
Time to look past, look forward
Take off that emotional muzzle

I don’t want to end this like I’m preaching,
But theres one thing I’ve identified,
If you do relate, then you’re a kind, loyal,
Beautiful, passionate, creative, ambitious and caring person…
… Don’t hide!