Choosing demons over loves,
Making deals with invisible allies
Who you believe will serve you right
Not serve up pain in longevity.
Non-belief of close ones hit their peaks
Freaking over the words,
Rebounding over and over,
Until rage blurs the lines of empathy.
Possessed and obsessed
A combination that kills millions,
And left many more stranded,
There is either no end
Or a quick end,
Both a torture to the victim,
The perpetrator, and the fool,
Three acts playing out
In one mind.
How can one soul survive in this environment
And live unscathed,
Not in isolation, no, they will die alone,
This life needs help,
This life needs to be saved.
An invisible epidemic spreads through human life,
Known but unseen
Casting shadows internally
Polluting the brain.
Suicide and pain seem a way of life
Shocking but accepted.
When did we as a species, start acting,
As taking our own life is ok.
Shocking, cruel and unbelievable
Until time passes and shock value
Becoming recognised as part of the journey.
No it’s not normal for an individual
Full of sense, emotion and love
Choosing to kill themselves cold.
To get to this state should send waves
To all that breathes.
We are evolving to see suicide as an option
Adapting and planning self torture.
This needs to stop
And start believing in the values of breathing,
Dancing to the blood pumping
And value life as a gift
Not a burden to survive.
The higher charge in every country,
In every race and language,
Need to see what’s in front of their
People are suffering with standards
Poverty, pain, combined with weight of mind
Brings the soul to drip
Self-halm to the extent of death,
Planned and executed in advance
By an individual
Who sees no other option.
This shouldn’t be behaviour of the sane
Suicide is spreading and rising
Unnoticed and quiet, until the blood drains.
The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts, deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition, not nearer nor faster
Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct, repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change
An unconscious, unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending, is where a new first begins.
When you go to sleep
I shall weep
In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call
Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow
Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour
Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell
Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift
Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep.
Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.
If you notice how I feel
Please don’t go ahead and ask
As my tears will start to surface
And wash away my mask,
You stare in to my eyes
To notice I’m not blinking
Please keep my aching secret
Inside my heart is sinking,
I will just get through this moment
Squeeze my hand, but keep my lie
My strength will suppress my tears
Only alone will I break and cry.
Waiting but it’s already here
The dark space to which I crawl
Pushing to escape this prison,
The boundaries on which I draw
Smiling but I’m already dead
Internally an empty house of glass
Every step, a step too far
Painful to survive, to forever last
Thinking but the thought has stuck
An enemy of autonomy and will
I’m safe in my compulsive home
Never to breathe, never too kill
History but not the present
Happy with my compulsive lie
Only one certainty calms my soul
I will not live, I will not die.