A box is only alive on the inside,
On the outside
Souls swim round deciding to enter
Or stay out in the open.
Choices become over thought
Becoming almost dangerous to trust instincts,
A simple answer feels high risk
Playing safe turns life into familiar situations
A comfortable uncomfortable,
Layers upon layers of protection
From an invisible inevitable.
It suffocates, squeezes the mind
To the extent of lashing out.
I will sit outside the box
And wonder of the magic
That changes life
Thinking is nights blinking
Keeping awake the conscience
Alerting panic to stand by
Even though it’s a lie.
Sanity briefly held together
By a strand of rationality
That’s left in a reality.
Would I really do this
Could this really happen?
No not today, or ever,
But the mind lives it as truth
Senses and heart in overdrive
Bringing death closer through neglect.
The body lives by the heads guidance
Believing the false inevitable,
Asking what’s the use
In carrying on towards oblivion
As an supposed evil or fractured person
In this squalor we call freedom.
If the eyes saw what the body felt
The shock would kill the soul,
The hand would let blood flow,
Flooding the sanctuary of the mind
Until there can be no more questioning,
No Arguing or inner struggles with ones self.
Is it best to surrender prematurely
Instead of forever defining
Peoples altered perspectives of love and hate?.
I wish I had the strength to just lay down and die
And release my soul, to this unknown fate.
Holding my hand onto the chest
grabbing at the beat,
closing my eyes
to place a palm face to the ground,
I send to you a wave of comfort
vibrating to your soul,
Untying the mind
of loneliness and hunger,
I shall remain silent,
where i’m knelt,
Embracing the knowledge from the earth
that when your heart skips,
to a sound of warmth and compassion
my gift has been felt.
The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition not nearer nor faster
Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change
An unconscious unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending, is where a new first begins.
Giant footsteps brings me close
To the running water of gold
An endless stream of choice
Where life can be brought and sold.
My face turned stagnant in the waves
Tell me, am I me still?
Drowning alive has withdrawn my face
My reflection sizing up the kill.
Sinking as a dropping stone
Forever laid alive and cold
Wash away the sins I’ve made
My saviour this running water of gold.
Hunger for the days
Appearing in waves of emotions
As tears is to the eyes.
No need to plead for absolution
Forgiveness earned through torturous hours
Spent crying and weeping,
Bruising knees in surrender and attempts
Born again as the stars align for the annual celebration
The lights always seem closer
Almost within reach to play and dance
To spin in the palm of hands
Watch in wonder as it shines and flies free.
Night transforming from foe,
Dark an ally, no longer a friend of fear.
Trust in the situation to which you sleep
Lighten the head that rests to the pillow
For it is yours now.
Control relinquished from the mouth that wretches the soul
Gravitating your will towards a deep cavern
Who swallows and devours.
It no longer swells inside you
lying dormant though holds no threat.
Part of you feels attached to the entity
Empathising the sadness of its defeat
But aware of its dogginess
To return and abandon its slumber, hungry.
Don’t be afraid
The self-made demon can’t touch you no more
Time now to live with a certainty to choose
And a freedom of celebration.
A Shadow of a person I could’ve been.
Hiding from the world out of guilt and shame But I’m always seen.
My personal space is my enemy and my friend. Living life on pretend. How will it end?
Fighting the good fight takes all the emotions and more,
Until there’s nothing left.
When will I feel free?
To run past the dark and flee…
Pain in mind is worse than pain in body,
Panic resembles an ache
Worry as debilitating as a break.
I will strike this demon down no choices
Using a shaft of light to drown out the voices.
Born again half real, half pure
Rise to live and breathe the present