Change the Ending

Is our future already written? Is that why some of us suffer, because we see glimpses of what’s to come. While others are blind to it. Living happy but blind to what lays ahead.

No of course not. Just another theory my messy mind has come up with to justify my avoiding, and testing myself in anxious situations. Giving up instead of increasing the effort.

Whatever is true, whatever the ending, make the beginning and middle honest, happy and true.

Change The Ending

The mind is adept at its own pretence
When a foreseeable ending claws at its sense
Rapid spate of change is hard to allow
Crystal clear thoughts, deviate from the brow
An uncontrolled destined moment in time
Perspectives of honesty bring up the divine
Amnesiac spaces previous and after
Brings the transition, not nearer nor faster

Change sparks defence to raise fully clad
Denial, like a sane man humouring the mad
A rapid such ending wretches the soul
Pulls what we possess to never let go
Our sleepless gut instinct, repulses the last
Repelling an echo of struggles near past
For even the efficient an ending feels strange
A limbo state not desiring to change

An unconscious unknown steadily beckons
Lifetime of intake, although its just seconds
Confusion is ripe though doesn’t persist
Without endings your presence wouldn’t exist
On ponder a moment which presents a choice
An alternate view to retain a lost voice
Reflect to proceed, an perceptive mind wins
Determine an ending is where a new first begins.

Found in the corner

A Human shape of dark gold,

picture of a fallen angel,

Though out of tears of humanity

comes beauty,

A Stage where the devil danced

sits a heart full of romance,

Skin cold to the touch,

narrow eyes say so much,

Demons plead to vanity

betraying oneself through insanity,

rages of a daggers thrust,

again, never be able to trust

Left at the bottom starved of humanity,

begging loud for sanity,

Mouth drying for life of hunger

physically harming to creep from slumber,

A soul of sugar succumbed to salt,

guilt embedded, self always at fault

Be the soul that Holds the hand

to Lift the person from the ground,

Acknowledge those Deep Blue eyes of fright,

buried inside hides a light

Bring me back to life

Bring me back to life

I wish I could control the horror
produced to provoke,
Trespassing behind the eyes
for the perfect time
to set chaos to the mind,
It could be beautiful,
but it chooses storm over paradise,
pale skin over veins of ice,
supporting an upside down version of freedom,
Life threaded through a knot,
a bind that can only be loosened
by floating hands,
Who wisely massage and weave,
releasing a view of the present,
of untainted truth,
the soul can finally…believe

…without love

Unrequited

Baring all not to recieve
makes giving the hardest choice,
Speaking truth
an insanity voice,
Telling someone you love them
with uncertainty can kill a soul,
The bravest emotion to act on,
Rejection leaving nowhere to go

A look of horrified realisation
can snap a spine,
Send the world tumbling forward,
freezing time,
The line of balance
between joy and pain,
is a thin barrier
Of obsessive and sane

Silence breaks a thousand hearts,
but speaks truth to the innocent,
right answer that feels wrong,
emotionally no relent,
Mentally hurt and wounded,
Courage builds until the mind can’t contain,
the feelings of willing to sacrifice
heart and soul again

Old scars bring doubt, though hope present,
Suppressed feelings, yet the heart hears the call,
The voice will shake, with this the hardest act,
To speak truth of love unrequited, once more

Demons

I walk down this alley where the shadows make a claim,

Not sure where I’m going but the darkness speaks my name,

Left open handed with no help for a guide,

Eyesight draws a blank to the dagger by my side,

Dark becomes an enemy and the blackness blinds,

Spitting out obscenities as love and hate combines,

Impossible to stop this flow from the enemy,

Spitting out pain, screaming out blasphemy,

Still I walk like some kind of freak, Searching in hell for the soul that I seek,

Set upon verbally with emotion and scorn,

Been on this road since the day I was born,

Dispair cries out in damming distress,

‘Why doesn’t he give in to the loneliness’,

I block out the sound, use all my strength,

Fight through this painful self-made Labyrinth,

Still I trudge where caves act as a hood,

Time stands still and the Angels do no good,

Not stopping to pray, walk to nothing’s left,

Eternal damnation where peace lies in death,

Demons disperse hoping I’ll stop and relent,

Closest it comes to any kind of sentiment,

Until such weight is lifted, I’ll just fight the good fight,

Head towards the dark, because out of the dark comes light