Laughing in the success of failure
Somehow I knew you hated me
Judged by external blemishes
And short minded deviants
Who only see, what they want to see
Believe the fragile foundations
Where truth sits balanced
Where a lie weighs down the world
Collapsing the final ounce of confidence
Society now accepts
Colourful to admire
Quiet as strange Loud as a superstar
Normal as estranged
No wonder personalities dance for eternity, Without falling into place
As the selfish run the asylum Not allowing room for a diverse face
Our bones are the substance
The soul radiates lifes powers
Whatever age we’re taken
We will all lye down with flowers.
Sliding through the narrow throat
Boiling blood a black hearts moat
Swallowed whole, with body complete
Forked tounge radiating white heat
Naively seduced to a fiendish trap
Entrapment from the demons lap
Keep not all your enemies close
Or soon ending up as an innocent dose
Wearing human skin as clothes
With webbed feet and claws as toes
Scattered screams of pain and hurt
Echoing laugh a monsters chirp
Acid spills tempting to erupt
Churning bodies in the fiery gut
Circle of life, destruction of death
Our souls now part of the devils breath.
Squint the eyes so this contrast won’t last
Open your soul to accept the wonder full force
Reflections are distorted when viewed from darkness
In this case ripple the surroundings
Sort through the findings
That float to the surface
Reach out, eyes closed letting the feel guide you
Grab the gift and safely pull it to your chest
Breathe and let the heart solve the rest.
Stood high, naked and hollow from emotion
Tempting nature to take me by force
Releasing blame from my conscience.
As the cold gripped reality
Only then did I know what you meant to me.
Feeling as if I knew all along
Drifting out to sea.
My reflection blinking out of the past and in to the future.
I am a warrior with a weakness to the armour
A biological fault passed on father to son
Critical in thinking, doomed to dwell.
Fate handed me physical strength
That my mind tries to breach
Bombing the soul mentally
Clouding confidence with doubt.
It feels sometimes
I’m turning inside out.
Churning to an enormous swell
Erupting often for all to see.
I don’t hate myself
I have an addiction for perfection
Obsession with clarity and certainty.
Truth as always
Speaks through the heart
Channels to the soul in the most simplest of forms.
Without verse I would of ended life
Using violence to signify my silence
Using death to create reaction.
Finally and tentatively, I chose the written word
Willing and grateful to be understood
But if not so be it, my mind is no more defined
By my thoughts being heard
There is no limit to the present
Choose to die today, it doesn’t end
Choose to live, then life begins,
In moments of silence, time still moves,
Cold surrenders to the warm
Light always pierces dark,
Even underground nothing is buried forever
Nothing is wasted in life
Each breath is counted
Every voice matters and is heard
Each footstep revolves the earth
Laughing makes it a better place to live,
Legacy is moulded from other people’s minds
Revealing truths unknown to many
Exposing ideas which originally had no environment to thrive,
Dormant intelligence and imagination breeds from goodwill
Cultivates to the surface when embraced with love.
Don’t choose to die today
If nothing else, outcry internally
Awake the lost soul from its timidity,
We are shaped to matter
Formed unique waiting to be discovered,
Don’t stay buried
Help shift the earth that encloses with comfort,
There is no limit to the present.
No I don’t want to go
Can’t you see it in my eyes?
Too late, the fear has grabbed me backwards,
Rocking my senses,
Encroaching in my mind.
I feel the endless pit in my stomach,
Taste the blood in my mouth,
Physically true and real happenings,
Results of the symptoms of fear.
The only illusion is the dark before me,
And the voices whispering false truths,
Confirming I should be afraid.
To freeze would mean an endless limbo
Of excruciating pain,
Fighting no option, as I would just be punching shadows.
Flight seems to warmly pierce my thoughts.
I stand alone in body and mind, facing travesty all around,
Frozen in an hellish silence with all hope lost.
Then without warning my shoulders are seized.
Not by claws or talons, more like enlarged fingers attached to strong muscle,
Like an exaggerated humans foot,
Only softer and warm to touch.
A Firm grip lifts me from the cold slab from which I’m perched.
I don’t see the face of my saviour
Only the sound of a force flapping against gravity.
A white feather escapes its host and floats down before me,
Signalling peace and freedom.
I know now I’m being carried to safety,
By my guardian who saw it worthwhile to intervene.
As a passenger soaring upwards towards the light,
I look down to the abyss from which I came.
It still whispers and reaches at its prey,
Seething as it’s fodder takes flight,
Escaping their clutches of seduction.
Something I can only describe as demon makes one last attempt to pull me down to the underbelly of life,
Where confusion and guilt is rife.
It fails, my winged guardian drives up full force,
Sensing the threat of danger from below,
Knowing a desperate monster has no boundaries or honour, to a soul they’ve lost and failed to pollute.
I almost allow myself a smile as I fly away…
And then I awake.
Lied in bed lethargic and mentally exhausted,
Pondering whether this vision was a dream or reality.
I decide not to answer,
Questions of doubt lead to darkness, and I’ve only just escaped.
For now I will sleep, listening to my heartbeat,
And counting my breaths.
As my eyes shut in peace,
The vision of a feather is the last thing I see,
Gently floating in and out of consciousness.
The first draft of reflective imagery that invades my mind.
Sucked into an abyss of astronomical proportions, swirling downward feeling the heat on my feet. Relief would be to perish and never look back. But this would be too easy, they’d rather I suffocate in possession of the intrusive thoughts piercing my mind, leaving transparent holes of uncertainty and frozen whirlwinds harrowing at my reality and convictions.
Point the forks upwards, forcing the inside temptation to scream and surrender under the guilty burden, invisible shadows climbing on my back. The weight shrugs as a reminder not to proceed with the idea of liberation and freedom. It’s part of the torture, the false hope we feed on for survival is desired of course, but only left for balance, for sanity to stay before Hell is reached. Turning downward facing obscene flames which spit obscenities, hurting the soul and spouting the stench of foulness like a spike billowing the winds of heart strings.
Prying eyes look on as a devils intent. Look is a stab, a stab cutting the Flesh and swallowing entrails of red and gold. Flashes of yellow signals the explosion of the soul collapsing inward, shades of grey elope and revel in the mix of light. In my head a giant, but not necessary a tyrant, though the horns and hanging flesh give away past intentions, and deviance outgoings. Will his look spill towards me, igniting the hunger in the eyes. Or maybe I’ll be spared, increasing fear and anxiety of the soul. Part of the torment. Being flippant with lives. Being a false remorse, leering at me, the prey, the gift.
Spinning discs pass my neck with a flys width. Razors designated to maime and cause surrender. My face blanches, filling the bottle before it’s spilt…