‘Any thought can be tolerated, even this one’,
Becomes an obsessional loop,
A contradictory statement on repeat
That works to ease tension
And stop the mind from back flowing.
Insurance and affirmation it’s not a lie
Breathes from within.
The warmth and contentment cant be faked,
So belief becomes the norm,
And fear a fractured shadow.
Our own mind a nemesis
A fact created from evolutionary frailties
Or a sick trick from ones creator?.
To question is to fall back to the trap.
Accept the fractured imperfections
Of the conscious mind,
The dark humour mixed with reality,
And live with glory of imagination,
The power to create expressivly
And freedom to do so.
Once we let go of ourselves
Control is restored,
Balance becomes silent,
And Living becomes unnoticed.
To believe in the chemical of blackness,
A slight of light in the sky, turns out to be a fool’s romance.
Which means stars are a gift from distance,
Not a shooting mirage, viewed by chance.
The past is the past until it doesn’t last,
When does it start catching up to you?
The answer is never,
if you endeavor to end history prematurely.
Get off, get on the ride
Both a form of suicide
Dont just weep on seeing the sheep,
Wander to your own haven
Where thoughts are enslaved
And banished on the grounds of rationality.
Can never change a believer
Unless doubt breeds from within,
Then belief becomes a story
An ugly fairy tale
That grew its roots in truth
But no longer serves a purpose
Other than a reminder
Imagination has a sensation
That lends itself to emotional illusion.
Impotence a form of defence
The minds subtle persuasion towards avoidance,
To fight the feeling of this false protection
We must lash out
And lash out we will,
Destroying relationships and bonds until…
It becomes too much
Forcing the tightrope to shake,
That is why impotence slows the will
Suffocates belief to a warped state
Of self preservation,
Saving what we fear the most,
Rejection and heart break.
Living with the depression
Begs us to ask the question
‘What else could we of become?’
But the mind sees through these lies,
Highlights the subconscious excuse
Then buries it.
But you can’t un-ring the bell
Truth lyes in the feelings,
Struggles with the muddy dealings
Sorely and painfully, knowledge sets us free,
Thriving, never arriving without pain.
We then live in the mire of regret,
A trap of anxiety to reboot,
But never re-enter that game
Patiently walk to the clearing,
Acknowledge allowance it’s normal to fall,
Allow that voice that your hearing
And be the version of yourself
That you first once saw.
Crack an egg with flippant innocence
Yolk pours out as blood
Run towards a hopeful resurgence
End face down, into the mud
Crawl to find a crowded peace
Drag breakages up so steep
Cries of help welcomed and received
Who cares who sees you weep.
Split second collapse takes the wind
Falling down upon the sword
Disfigurement will never rescind
Never perfect, always flawed
Once I sat and thought alone
Fears dormant in the head, never spoken
Now I view my offset bone
Terrified, it’s not just my mind that’s broken.
Human in nature
Attractive in stature
Built on intrigue
And mental fatigue
Looking for connections
Or past resurrections
People choose illusive
A meet between two
With one briefly knew
A mutual respect
For the opposite sex
Want to know the being
And what your feeling
Deep from inside
No need to hide
A deep intense session
With no wrong impression
No guilt to justify
As honesty intensifies
A delicious montage
Tales of self sabotage
All truths no lies
Spill our minds eye
Not spiritual just there
A split second stare
A coming of perspective
Genuinely being accepted
Stuck in a lifetime that won’t accept my vision
With mental illness it feels like I’m closer to reality
Others only see what’s in front of their face
Im frustrated their perspective is boundaried,
Blinkered, tunnel vision, seeing only in black and white
They are happy with that
Anxious minds can’t sit still, need to be stretched and challenged,
Imagination set free, be wild instead of socially tamed
Look at the world instead of four walls
Boredom is culpable
World passing by with each new day
Stay with the same or search for like minded individuals
Surrounded by the scared, my thoughts are all alone
Suffocated by negative when aspire to greatness
We are rare, few, forbidden from thinking our truth
Accused of madness, not normal
No wonder Anger issues with the mental frustration
People in front of the que are blind to my perception,
Living with no existence, leaving no trace
Open eyes that no longer see
Repressed folk suck the life out of the inspired
The media has suppressed the creative
Labelled for being a stranger in my own time
Frowned upon, scolded
Masses creating the word ‘stigma’ to separate themselves
Don’t listen to the ignorant
Nothing grows in the comfort zone
Be selfish, use your emotions given,
The next generation will love you for it,
Don’t ever get shown the door,
The anxious feeling is not a feeling of being lost,
It’s the longing of wanting more…