Tag / intrusive thoughts

by Chris Chant

Connections

Human in nature
Attractive in stature
Built on intrigue
And mental fatigue

Looking for connections
Or past resurrections
People choose illusive
Bordering reclusive

A meet between two
With one briefly knew
A mutual respect
For the opposite sex

Want to know the being
And what your feeling
Deep from inside
No need to hide

A deep intense session
With no wrong impression
No guilt to justify
As honesty intensifies

A delicious montage
Tales of self sabotage
All truths no lies
Spill our minds eye

Not spiritual just there
A split second stare
A coming of perspective
Genuinely being accepted

by Chris Chant

No Surrender

Stuck in a lifetime that won’t accept my vision
With mental illness it feels like I’m closer to reality
Others only see what’s in front of their face
Im frustrated their perspective is boundaried,
Blinkered, tunnel vision, seeing only in black and white

They are happy with that

Anxious minds can’t sit still, need to be stretched and challenged,
Imagination set free, be wild instead of socially tamed
Look at the world instead of four walls

Boredom is culpable

World passing by with each new day
Stay with the same or search for like minded individuals
Surrounded by the scared, my thoughts are all alone
Suffocated by negative when aspire to greatness

We are rare, few, forbidden from thinking our truth

Accused of madness, not normal
No wonder Anger issues with the mental frustration

People in front of the que are blind to my perception,
Living with no existence, leaving no trace
Open eyes that no longer see
Repressed folk suck the life out of the inspired
The media has suppressed the creative

Labelled for being a stranger in my own time

Frowned upon, scolded
Masses creating the word ‘stigma’ to separate themselves
Don’t listen to the ignorant
Nothing grows in the comfort zone

Be selfish, use your emotions given,
The next generation will love you for it,
Don’t ever get shown the door,
The anxious feeling is not a feeling of being lost,
It’s the longing of wanting more…

by Chris Chant

Self Eulogy

Self Eulogy

The afflicted tune has ended, fire burns to zero,
To the silent master there is no treason,
Thank you for weeping, the elated song plays on,
Knowing I’m alongside you, no question or reason

Heart demands no excuse for warmth,
Memories inside exist with little trace,
Imagination, love, you take it with you,
You have pictures, I’ll never forget a face

In life I’ve struggled with my place
Where I land is real and beyond my control,
My concept was never this side of beautiful,
Choice of rest place, time to sleep not grow

Misunderstood, all judgements long forgiven,
The mind was mine, the body a short lease,
Blessed to have lived in this short loving time,
Knowing there is such a place of finding peace

A desert island, a single paradise of oasis,
Silence moves slower, ending is stretched,
My feelings are enclosed, forever in stasis,
Pictures in my mind of a life permanently etched.

by Chris Chant

Laughing in the Dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.
by Chris Chant

Broken

On a bad day, as an anxious person I look around sussing out my surroundings. On occasion a person looks back and senses my social and general pain. In that moment I inside beg they don’t ask me ‘if I’m ok’ as I know I will break down if spoken too. I pray they let me be, just nod or squeeze my hand.

It’s confusing and complex how one moment I want someone to listen and understand my pain, and the next I want to be invisible and ignored. At these times my thoughts are against me.

Broken

If you notice how I feel

Please don’t go ahead and ask

As my tears will start to surface

And wash away my mask

You stare in to my eyes

To notice I’m not blinking

Please keep my aching secret

That inside my heart is sinking

I will just get through this moment

Squeeze my hand, but keep my lie

My strength will suppress my tears

Only alone will I break and cry

by Chris Chant

No Surrender

Stuck in a lifetime that won’t accept my vision
With mental illness it feels like I’m closer to reality
Others only see what’s in front of their face
Im frustrated their perspective is boundaried,
Blinkered, tunnel vision, seeing only in black and white

They are happy with that

Anxious minds can’t sit still, need to be stretched and challenged,
Imagination set free, be wild instead of socially tamed
Look at the world instead of four walls

Boredom is culpable

World passing by with each new day
Stay with the same or search for like minded individuals
Surrounded by the scared, my thoughts are all alone
Suffocated by negative when aspire to greatness

We are rare, few, forbidden from thinking our truth

Accused of madness, not normal
No wonder Anger issues with the mental frustration

People in front of the que are blind to my perception,
Living with no existence, leaving no trace
Open eyes that no longer see
Repressed folk suck the life out of the inspired
The media has suppressed the creative

Labelled for being a stranger in my own time

Frowned upon, scolded
Masses creating the word ‘stigma’ to separate themselves
Don’t listen to the ignorant
Nothing grows in the comfort zone

Be selfish, use your emotions given,
The next generation will love you for it,
Don’t ever get shown the door,
The anxious feeling is not a feeling of being lost,
It’s the longing of wanting more…