Half Empty

As deep as I am
My heart is shallow,
Like a dried up well
Where springs once fell
And now lies fallow.

Blood circles cold
Round my body of existence,
But once insecurity is fed
It stains where I bled
Drowning self resistance.

My mind fills with fog
Offering aspects of confusion,
But one thing that’s clear
I’m forever here
Is this life of illusion.

Bravery lays redundant
And as honest as I speak
The soul will shake
Then the voices will awake,
Confounding I’m weak.

Taken

Long live the memories, the lessons
And the scars.
The fun has surpassed, living life and fast cars.
Bring out the coffin, the bringer of mystery
Wrapped in riches of new, brimming of history
Horns will blare and even grown men shall weep
As the parade glides by to telegraph this sleep.
For this day only, not one thing is the same
Each conversation begins with the mention of their name
The eyes were alight, but now they stand cold
Voyaged in a Carriage, with wheels made of gold.
Dry the tissues, wipe away velvet tears
Substitute frowns with smiles and silent cheers
Memories flood, and emotions will sway
Leave the sadness where you stand, on this lone surreal day.

Lay Me Down

A silent hymn swarms the senses
Sensations charged, bloods too swift
Memory poisoned, weary of pretences
With each sharp point a full body lift.

Awake fever cold, lips texture of slate
Rejects visual help, deny the sound
Bruises new, a pure circular shape
Flakiness of skin, ankles once bound

Real or a film of fiction
Inspect body, stifle a scream
Escape attempts creates harm friction
Lesions made, stain skin at the seam.

Dream of scenarios, body cuffed tight
Butterfly effect, wings have swung
A nightmare which overlaps the night
Sour taste to mouth, intrusion in lung

Cloaked a stranger, calls a name
Intimate outlines with empty stares
Swear words alluded through shame
Convulsing body pulls skin to tear.

Melt through sheets as sweat gives way
Escape plan hatched, float through floors
Arms stretched out to slink away
Reality bites down, home to four walls

Travel shift to outside ward
Undeniably a dream to recognise
A body concealed from open doors
Head slips to reveal the disguise.

Alive in bed or dead where I stand
A premonition gift, given to hear
Trust not to cry off a helping hand
An awakening lust, the minds clear

Fear defends the external choice
Bittersweet to white flag this race
For now someone else speaks my voice
Though the ceiling still reflects my face.

Chest tight by weight of heaving
Already howled the meltdown song
Truth hits quiet, no prizes for leaving
To dampen my mind, this is where I belong.

Half Life

When time passes by what’s left. Regret, guilt and shame, being bored?. Is that a life to live, a story to share with young loved ones.

No, procrastinating is an humorous excuse used too often. If you want to live a calm, comfortable life then that’s fine, but don’t talk bigger, or imagine a better future if you’re happy.

No-one wants to hear stories of excuses and what-if stories of things that could’ve happened to them.

Lost dreams take up to much air space and mind room. There’s nothing to stop a productive imagination reproducing what it sees. Living the dreams that seem far away.

You just have to want it bad enough, to be bothered to try and grasp it with both hands.

Everyone loves a trier, even if you fail you tried. Tell the story of how you went for it, how you followed your heart. It’s an adventure if nothing else.

There’s no way to recreate the feelings of a light bulb moment when it hits. The excitement it projects.

Do it before it’s too late.

This speech is inside my head every day. My gut telling me I want more. And there’s only one way…

Let Forever Be

It feels
Like walking your own grave
Dark, damp and endless
Feeding on the brave

Rope bound, quenching the soul
Teasing the God given affliction
A Demons yard where games are played
Provoking hope by swaping addiction

Night fades into day
It’s all the same
Time rarely exists
Small slice of the mind game

An Angel holds my hand
Evaporates from my eyes
Now I understand
That all hope,
Is the Devil in disguise

Indecisive

Every decision feels like a life threatening choice. The mind choosing an option, changing it’s mind, then changing it back again.

Every day decisions, like where to go out, or what to eat. The doubts of an anxious mind put different scenarios in your head, making it a tormenting life.

Always questioning whether you’ve made the right choice. It’s a hard way to live. A lonely place of guilt and living on nerves.

That’s how anxiety and depression fights happiness. Putting doubt and fear in safe situations.

It’s the most disabling crush on ones sanity…

Hollow Legacy

Crave to be remembered, etched in history
In my words, I’ll always leave some mystery
Speaking though my head feels dismembered
Lost or found is how I’ll be remembered

The blind sees many depressed rhymes
Enlightened, will read between the lines
View behind the eyes to see deep
Hidden meaning’s that made me weep

Words just scratch against the surface
Casual thoughts produced as a circus
Poetry Masks a majority of emotional acts
In the truer words, I’m never holding back

Take own life while personality in song?
Leave this realm incase the mind functions wrong
Intrusive forces weighing the mind to sink
Desperately searching for some missing link

Invisible in body and the voice is weak
Waiting patiently for the peace I seek
Invade my story see what you find
Interpret the words I’ll one day leave behind.