I see images
Far away from personal space
Hiding in the shadows.
The corner of my eye
Natural reflexes spin wildly,
Transforms with haste
Back to benign.
Something insidious is watching
Rousing my senses
Alerting my suspicions.
Paranoia becomes a suspect
Though clean living proves
The mind is all powerful and complex
When left to wander freely
And without forced encouragement.
When will the process erupt
From viewing shapes
To hearing voices,
I’m scared I’ll answer
Scared of its suggestions
Of convincing me to believe
They exist in life not just my reality.
I see images elevate back from the dead
Convincing my mind
It’s not just, all in my head
I won’t believe in heaven
Though I believe in Hell
The only thing that keeps the madness away.
My mind is open
To any misinterpretation
A haven for Demons to play
Once I was born
The personality imprint
Became damned and tainted.
Face a blank canvas
An expression of confusion
With a scream half drawn and painted.
Followed the crowd
Of youth and pollution
A gang formed by the easily led.
Convinced by the voices
That while I’m alive
My thoughts are better unsaid.
There is no limit to the present
Choose to die today, it doesn’t end
Choose to live, then life begins,
In moments of silence, time still moves,
Cold surrenders to the warm
Light always pierces dark,
Even underground nothing is buried forever
Nothing is wasted in life
Each breath is counted
Every voice matters and is heard
Each footstep revolves the earth
Laughing makes it a better place to live,
Legacy is moulded from other people’s minds
Revealing truths unknown to many
Exposing ideas which originally had no environment to thrive,
Dormant intelligence and imagination breeds from goodwill
Cultivates to the surface when embraced with love.
Don’t choose to die today
If nothing else, outcry internally
Awake the lost soul from its timidity,
We are shaped to matter
Formed unique waiting to be discovered,
Don’t stay buried
Help shift the earth that encloses with comfort,
There is no limit to the present.
Laughing in the success of failure
Somehow I knew you hated me
Judged by external blemishes
And short minded deviants
Who only see, what they want to see
Believe the fragile foundations
Where truth sits balanced
Where a lie weighs down the world
Collapsing the final ounce of confidence
Society now accepts
Colourful to admire
Quiet as strange Loud as a superstar
Normal as estranged
No wonder personalities dance for eternity, Without falling into place
As the selfish run the asylum Not allowing room for a diverse face
Our bones are the substance
The soul radiates lifes powers
Whatever age we’re taken
We will all lye down with flowers.
My history is no mystery. It’s shines in the background, as do I.
My life is an open book, if you ask I shall tell you the truth of my afflictions.
OCD, agoraphobia, depression, all haunted my soul for so long. Making me feel guilt and pain for no reason. Polluting my thoughts with never-ending negative whirlwinds.
Sometimes it was hard to think of what to believe. The truth inside me, or the inner voice spouting falsehoods and creating a dark landscape for me to follow.
I learned to diminish these happenings, put aside the demon to the sides of me.
Only then could I breathe clean air, think clear thoughts and live a truth, not a lie.
My character has, and always will remain intact. My soul has been tainted by ill mental health, but my fight and vision lies true.
Free hand to write
On the edge of polite
To the mind and soul
Moods high or low
Circling the pain
That keeps me sane
Will I today survive
Hurt says I’m alive
Praying to the God enveloped my head
Why own thoughts are wishing me dead
Confined to the 4 corners of my room
Take me now, or take me soon
Heavy head with knees a bleeding
Nodding still, crouching and pleading
Babbling a language all of my own
Can’t find solitude, until I’m home
Various flashbacks of whom im calling
Above my eyes raising and falling
Swallowing my soul, my light to see
Who am I?, who will save me?
Answer now or forever stay silent
So I can walk peacefully
Into the twilight
Every decision feels like a life threatening choice. The mind choosing an option, changing it’s mind, then changing it back again.
Every day decisions, like where to go out, or what to eat. The doubts of an anxious mind put different scenarios in your head, making it a tormenting life.
Always questioning whether you’ve made the right choice. It’s a hard way to live. A lonely place of guilt and living on nerves.
That’s how anxiety and depression fights happiness. Putting doubt and fear in safe situations.
It’s the most disabling crush on ones sanity…