Skin delicate as a flower
Protruding double edge scars
Protecting a soft
Broken beauty with a will of wanting
Sat rabid inside a vulnerable shell
Some cut my tissue
Scrape away at my flesh
Seeking the weakness within
Ignorance unearths deep foundations
Critical echoes erects towering walls
Creating an impenetrable field of solitude
Only passable through invitation
Trespassers alarm the mind to traitors
If chosen and elected to intrude
Tread carefully with your voice
Step lightly with decision
Once warmth is shared, please I beg
Don’t break trust, heart, or soul
For the shield of hope will cease
Convincing the body of spirit
To internally combust
Collapsing inward upon itself
Shed ink instead of blood
As unattended thoughts leads to anguish,
Congruent flowed words speak truth
And the Pain will disperse fluently through the letters,
Tear drops will fall, producing the ink to run
Spilling a web of blackness telling it’s own story,
A minor irritation to tolerate
As words from a emotive heart cannot lie,
They reflect back to a strangers eyes
Strengthening with every view,
Their breath will shallow as reality of your painted picture plays out,
deftly speaking to the reader,
Echoes of hurt touch the senses that play on the soul
Communicating deeply in every language,
Emotions speak blindly, never restraining
Or releasing it’s power,
Books are alive as you and I
as long as it’s written it breathes.
Release the pain by solidifying unguarded thoughts
Describe hell as it’s seen uniquely,
Mental stigma is immortal through the ages
In our history people expressed in words of code
Composing life as if you’re embedded on the pages
Guarantees in time your story will be told.
Stop asking the minds begs, when a person who doesn’t really care asks how you feel. The routine and rehearsed speech kicks in. Explaining that you’re fine and finishing off with a painted smile.
The person knows you speak false truth, and inside they breathe a sigh of relief that they don’t have to hear about your issues, or in their eyes, issues that don’t really exist.
This scene plays out a thousand times over a life time.
The magic happens when you find someone who genuinely cares and listens, and the switch in your mind decides to speak the truth.
Stood high, naked and hollow from emotion
Tempting nature to take me by force
Releasing blame from my conscience.
As the cold gripped reality
Only then did I know what you meant to me.
Feeling as if I knew all along
Drifting out to sea.
My reflection blinking out of the past and in to the future.
I am a warrior with a weakness to the armour
A biological fault passed on father to son
Critical in thinking, doomed to dwell.
Fate handed me physical strength
That my mind tries to breach
Bombing the soul mentally
Clouding confidence with doubt.
It feels sometimes
I’m turning inside out.
Churning to an enormous swell
Erupting often for all to see.
I don’t hate myself
I have an addiction for perfection
Obsession with clarity and certainty.
Truth as always
Speaks through the heart
Channels to the soul in the most simplest of forms.
Without verse I would of ended life
Using violence to signify my silence
Using death to create reaction.
Finally and tentatively, I chose the written word
Willing and grateful to be understood
But if not so be it, my mind is no more defined
By my thoughts being heard
Back and forth in doorways
Three o’clock deep in the night
In and out my body swayed
Not sleeping to I felt just right
Turning lights on and off
Turning taps so much tighter
Wearing six tops in summer
Staring at a torch, turning it brighter
Under all these layers this is me
I’m no different, I just have OCD
Not stepping on the carpet
Paining myself and cutting my hair
Putting clothes on again and again
The same ones for a week, I have to wear
Light switches too and thro’
Washing rehashed and flung about
Walking backwards on the football field
I’m saving the world ain’t no doubt
Under all these layers this is me
I’m no different I just have OCD
Not able to read or write normal
Repeating words and crossing off
Having compulsions in school exams
Having to blink, having to cough
The school tie was pulled up tight
Along with the top button on my shirt
Couldn’t breath and sweated badly
Doesn’t make sense, it really hurt
A Life dictated by numbers
With fear, dread and impending doom
Imagination susposed to be a gift
But for me more like a living tomb
No-one ever asked, people’s reality different to mine
Became an expert in hiding, so bittersweet divine
Stuck in an endless, ignorant cycle of fright
Cant love, leave,or live until the feeling feels just right.
Shoreline paraphrases; peace be with you
even in cold
it has a soul of its own
with therapeutic qualities
that seduces the willing
to open up to its innocence
as beauty unfolds,
of offering forgiveness
to the faces of rock
as their identity
is swallowed by the sea sweep
Pending tides high
as hard places collide
with grace and compassion,
No competition to the sky
rip, roaring, receding
loud, but with a never ending stillness
captured in time
compensating the storm,
Mysterious and magical streams
passing through the waves
with the freedom of expanse
to the sea
as the pebbles dance