It’s dark
Imagination becomes a foe.
All of a sudden I crack – Snap,
Then lost in the commotion
the mind gets dense
unable to travel mentally
and my eyes are vice like shut.
Reached the pinnacle of panic
If I died now so be it – False statement
I know this can’t kill me
It just makes me stronger.
This anxiety is a passing shot
a warning with no substance
that used to never end
or that’s how it felt.
As a scene in a film
the mind zooms back to focus
back to the beginning.
Open my eyes, slowly
I’m in reality now, real time
knelt to the floor but alive.
Nod appreciation to the helpers.
The episodes are shortening
as I’m learning
to cope with the bad days.
I remind myself
I bring on the fear
I can take it away.

The chattering begins
Hands scratch at the noises – scrape, scraping
that brings itchiness and irritants
to this controlled invasion.
A mind built of glass
cracked at the foundations.
Lucid thoughts shatter houses.
The Scattering shards produce a prickly sensation
Trespassing in the brain
leaving jagged edges
and haunted images.
I can see the ghosts of shame
walking the corridors
accusing the past.
My silent screams scare no-one.
Walls closing in
evaporating my screams
suffocating my dreams.
I surrender to the torment
lying back on protruded thorns
that pay homage to the sacrifice.
Breath diminished, colludes with the flames
causing an energy collapse
which leaves the mind broken
to a body unclaimed.