A Human shape of dark gold
picture of a fallen angel,
Though out of tears of humanity
A Stage where the devil danced
sits a heart full of romance,
Skin cold to the touch,
narrow eyes say so much,
Demons plead to vanity
betraying oneself through insanity,
Rages of a daggers thrust,
again, never be able to trust
Left at the bottom starved of humanity,
begging loud for sanity,
Mouth drying for life of hunger
physically harming to creep from slumber,
A soul of sugar succumbed to salt,
guilt embedded, self always at fault
Be the soul that holds the hand
to lift the person from the ground,
Acknowledge those Deep Blue eyes of fright,
buried inside hides a light.
Laughing in the success of failure
Somehow I knew you hated me
Judged by external blemishes
And short minded deviants
Who only see, what they want to see
Believe the fragile foundations
Where truth sits balanced
Where a lie weighs down the world
Collapsing the final ounce of confidence
Society now accepts
Colourful to admire
Quiet as strange Loud as a superstar
Normal as estranged
No wonder personalities dance for eternity, Without falling into place
As the selfish run the asylum Not allowing room for a diverse face
Our bones are the substance
The soul radiates lifes powers
Whatever age we’re taken
We will all lye down with flowers.
How it ends growing up with a dysfunctional parent, you both end up feeling shipwrecked…
Like walking your own grave
Dark, damp and endless
Feeding on the brave
Rope bound, quenching the soul
Teasing the God given affliction
A Demons yard where games are played
Provoking hope by swaping addiction
Night fades into day
It’s all the same
Time rarely exists
Small slice of the mind game
An Angel holds my hand
Evaporates from my eyes
Now I understand
That all hope,
Is the Devil in disguise
Means living, mourning the dead
Burdening the guilt
Of an innocent passing
Should have been me instead.
Please, take this life
That’s been self condemned
A mind half crazy
Not on the mend.
Any contact between the once alive
And all that was said
Reacts in my mind
Affecting my heart
Catching up to my head.
Leave the untainted souls
I wish to be taken
Took early by the gods of life
But they’ve been mistaken.
Up until their untimely deaths
I’ve just been holding on
I’m happy to let go
To relinquish this breathing con.
I cower at funerals, saying goodbye
Head down diverted
From the deceased families eyes.
As my heart still beats
It feels like a timeless curse
Take me, my life is expendable
I don’t live it as it’s worth.
My history is no mystery. It’s shines in the background, as do I.
My life is an open book, if you ask I shall tell you the truth of my afflictions.
OCD, agoraphobia, depression, all haunted my soul for so long. Making me feel guilt and pain for no reason. Polluting my thoughts with never-ending negative whirlwinds.
Sometimes it was hard to think of what to believe. The truth inside me, or the inner voice spouting falsehoods and creating a dark landscape for me to follow.
I learned to diminish these happenings, put aside the demon to the sides of me.
Only then could I breathe clean air, think clear thoughts and live a truth, not a lie.
My character has, and always will remain intact. My soul has been tainted by ill mental health, but my fight and vision lies true.
When you go to sleep
I shall weep
In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call
Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow
Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour
Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell
Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift
Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep