A child with sensitivity to feelings
Living with a parent with no emotion,
Is like drowning in the ocean,
The adult only walks the selfish direction
Widening the gap of bond and blood
Separating the connection
Between father and son,
Family home a safe haven turned toxic
By the golem who created his kingdom,
And his alone.
Willing freely to give you away,
Maybe bribe you with silver
To leave their place
So you burden them no more
Sowed the seed but not willing to feed
The emotionally hungry figure of youth,
Not because of behavioral actions
Or laziness tendencies on your part,
But through deviant selfishness
To thrive without ties of a child
Giving the responsibility of parent
To the world,
No wonder as an adolescent we feel abandoned,
Left stranded to survive
With no tools to speak of,
Its pointless to eventually seek blame
They hold no shame,
And learn nothing other to treat your babe,
Their legacy and grandchild,
We would be lying
If we believe we’re not dying
Best to be ruthless
Not consciously toothless
Arming with facts
How our body subtracts,
Blood steadily thickens
Immune system sickens
Thinning our skin
Fades from within,
The insides lay waste
Soon we will taste
The scent of death
Awash in our breath.
Movement Cracks bone
Awaiting final moan
Lose all doubt
This is the wayout,
Enjoy what’s left
Because we are dying
And very soon,
Our soul will be flying.
Colluding to time and age
Acting Complicit, dimming the rage,
The fist of anger and damnation
Slamming down, smashing shame
No sleep interrupts constant processing
Plan A plays out to normality and failure
Premature death subscribes maps to the mind,
Once written that’s where pain lies,
Blood behind the eyes
Mumble of a foreign language
Where demons understand the cry
Of a fallen Angel,
No more to question why,
Give in lawfully to the bonds
That seek havens of wrist and foot,
Just change my love, easier to submerge
With the thorns,
Accept crown of horns,
Release pain, succumb to relief,
Let eyes view stars that dance in the mist,
Sleep my dear, and life will seep
Like falling blood purifying the wrist.
‘Any thought can be tolerated, even this one’,
Becomes an obsessional loop,
A contradictory statement on repeat
That works to ease tension
And stop the mind from back flowing.
Insurance and affirmation it’s not a lie
Breathes from within.
The warmth and contentment cant be faked,
So belief becomes the norm,
And fear a fractured shadow.
Our own mind a nemesis
A fact created from evolutionary frailties
Or a sick trick from ones creator?.
To question is to fall back to the trap.
Accept the fractured imperfections
Of the conscious mind,
The dark humour mixed with reality,
And live with glory of imagination,
The power to create expressivly
And freedom to do so.
Once we let go of ourselves
Control is restored,
Balance becomes silent,
And Living becomes unnoticed.
I have no advice for you my friend
Apart from – I have been to the darkness
And came back better.
I saw the lowest a soul can get
While still breathing
And survived to tell my story.
We are unique and so is our escape.
Place a hand in front of the other
And find your key,
The one aspect of you
That unlocks the trapdoor of emptiness,
Brings a warmth to the cold corner
To which you sit.
I have no advice for you my friend
Apart from don’t believe in the four sides
That holds you.
There is more to life than being stuck,
Living behind the eyes
With the illusion
Life resembles an black box.
You are a spark among many,
So show your unique colour
And I promise,
You will no longer question or doubt,
Your ability to rise.
When you go to sleep
I shall weep
In private, tears will fall
Requiring help, I won’t call
Cries drown my pillow
From days of sorrow
Always a restless hour
With thoughts turning sour
Awake in a personal hell
Mind is my prison cell
Cut me open, make it swift
Bleed me empty, as a gift
Blood shall be my last weep
Peace now, forever sleep.
A box is only alive on the inside,
On the outside
Souls swim round deciding to enter
Or stay out in the open.
Choices become over thought
Becoming almost dangerous to trust instincts,
A simple answer feels high risk
Playing safe turns life into familiar situations
A comfortable uncomfortable,
Layers upon layers of protection
From an invisible inevitable.
It suffocates, squeezes the mind
To the extent of lashing out.
I will sit outside the box
And wonder of the magic
That changes life