Coincidences

The master of disguise never wears a costume
Just hides the sides of his mind,
The myth becomes alive
To the right side of the brain,
It makes us dance to silence
Create with nothing
And paint colours to the sky,
When it takes over
Overcoming the left distant side
You will strive for the feeling
Of exuberance
To last forever,
Never wanting to ever let go,
This is the only way
To move forward and evolve.

Greatest days

Take me back
To that time of innocence,
Eating Thunder Cat crisps
Drinking Shandy at twenty pence

Always having to go home
When it’s raining or gets dark,
And the only major choice
Was to go big or little park

Playing games for hours
Jumping off the swings,
Pretending it doesn’t hurt
When it really really stings

Scaling the massive slide
First up to the top wins,
Sliding back down on our back
Next time on our shins.

No health and safety padding
No soft cushion under our feet,
When we fell off a ride
We Smashed down on the concrete

The witches hat was mental
Clanging up towards the sky,
But it was the best thrill
Holding on or probably die

Kissing on the wooden benches
Or Playing forty, forty,
It was lively, noisy, and crazy
No-one had time to be naughty

Lads playing football
Girls giggling as they play,
Crushes came and went
Changing from day to day

Best friends forever
You never forget your mates,
Arguments came and went
No time for long term hates

Take me back to the endless days
Of having fun without a care,
The Memories wont be beaten
If I could choose, I would go back there.

Back to Life

What if I died
And this is all a dream,
The accident was fatal
And my mind is teasing the news To my subconscious
Of the reality of my death,
An amputation to signal a loss,
Losing two fingers
telling the mind I’m slowly dying,
Disappearing away
Bit by bit
Piece by piece,

What if I died
In that instant of terror,
Snapping my head in to limbo,
Bringing an illusion of survival
An alternate version of events
Where I still live, for awhile at least,

Now I have detected, and felt
This true reality,
Am I ready?
Ready for the darkness,
Or whatever awaits me,
If anything,
Ready to leave this eighteen month fairytale
Written in my mind,
Is it better to fake a life in ignorance,
Live in a dream state,
Interact as normal
Or just realise my fate?

It’s out of my hands
I must sleep, but will I ever wake again?
And if I awaken the next morning
Will the feeling still hang over me,
That whatever path I follow,
I’m living on borrowed time.

Laughing in the dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.

Turn back time

I miss my friend
He had an affliction,
He never opened up
About his addiction,
But he was full of emotion
And loyalty in life,
If he could help you he would
Without thinking twice,
Drink was his weakness
Friendship his bond,
When suicide came
Everyone bowed to his song,
I’ll never forget my friend
I wish he didn’t die,
When that day comes around
I always look up to the sky.

Two Halves

This poem is featured in the Poetry book – Encryption of the Mind.
Which is now available to buy or download from Amazon and other good bookstores or

https://www.austinmacauley.com/book/encryption-mind
❤👍

Two halves

You may think these words are heavy
It’s hard not to be with mental illness
Most would of stopped reading by now
Some stayed just to be curious

Maybe you stayed because you can relate,
To how it felt and how it affected you
The Love, fear, happiness and hate
We’re constantly have, and are going through

Those first two verses were written when really low,
God, reading it brings me down
But only to a level of understanding
All part of turning your life around

Well, you got this far, and not by chance
Seen off the mysterious voices
Freedom is a wonderful thing
Being able to make life choices

A lot of life has been wasted
Solving an impossible puzzle
Time to look past, look forward
Take off that emotional muzzle

I don’t want to end this like I’m preaching,
But theres one thing I’ve identified,
If you do relate, then you’re a kind, loyal,
Beautiful, passionate, creative, ambitious and caring person…
… Don’t hide!

Burn

We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.

I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.

I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.