Never had a lot of range,
From behaving odd to very strange,
Pained expression for all to see,
Just hearing the call of the Banshee,
Endless whispering of far away prattle,
Leading up to a head blown death rattle.
Being alone hasn’t eluded,
Map of destruction points to secluded,
Best friends a dark reflection,
Shadow cut out to add to collection,
A demeaning job, a binned life,
Baggaged husband, shouldered wife.
Friends of history a quiet distant,
Personal contact set on resistant,
Winding slope, an inclining bend,
Kill me as I can’t seem to end,
Persevered efforts, too many to mention,
Seeking truths now I have your attention.
OCD is all about intrusive thoughts and uncertainty. Compulsions ease the anxiety, short term.
My compulsions are all about numbers, doing things a certain amount of times. Of course numbers are infinite and have no magic powers, so it’s just a never-ending cycle of illusion and comfort.
6 was the magic number
Or was it 3 and 12?
Always stuck to evens 4,8,16
But odds I sometimes delved
13, 23 filled me with dread
10’s good but 5 is great
Why not Friday 14th instead?
3’s nicely rounded, so is 8
666 is evil, but it’s an even number
Confused what I’m doing this 4
Bakers dozen shouldn’t be allowed
999 no help at all
A multiple gift that comes for 3?
20, 25, multiply and subtract
6 and 9 are upside down,
Leap year not sure how to react
60 mins, 60 seconds, why not 100?
19:24 is a digital clock pain
5 gold rings and checking things
13’s unlucky and 7’s fulls of vain
4, 8, 12, straight flush
The perfect number, where’s it 2?
School maths, a 45 degree nightmare
3 × 3 trigonometry, had to see it through
Why 3 pigs and 3 bears?
7 years bad luck or magnificent?
1 never seems ever enough
And what’s after 100 percent?
Adapt, arrange, ÷ on repeat
3, 6, no improvement with evolution
With OCD no matter the equation,
The answer is never the end solution.
Shoreline paraphrases; peace be with you
even in cold
it has a soul of its own
with therapeutic qualities
that seduces the willing
to open up to its innocence
as beauty unfolds,
of offering forgiveness
to the faces of rock
as their identity
is swallowed by the sea sweep
Pending tides high
as hard places collide
with grace and compassion,
No competition to the sky
rip, roaring, receding
loud, but with a never ending stillness
captured in time
compensating the storm,
Mysterious and magical streams
passing through the waves
with the freedom of expanse
to the sea
as the pebbles dance
I believe in legend and mystery
Heroes hidden to the naked eye
A mental strength of pained history
We are warriors you and I
Life is never enough
Time is a thorn to endless resolution
The urgency pumping through our veins
To a self-made deadline
An internal pressure
Mind fixated on serinty filling
Reality we’re soul killing
Feeling selfish when relaxing chances upon us
Need to slow sensations to body
Enjoy instead of panic
Breath instead of losing breathe
Sit in thought
Not wishing life away
Activities participated in anxiety
Those memories won’t last
Pleasure taken leisurely, calmly
Will be remembered
Play your own game
At a comfortable soothing pace
Life’s too short yes,
So why rush?
Skin delicate as a flower
Protruding double edge scars
Protecting a soft
Broken beauty with a will of wanting
Sat rabid inside a vulnerable shell
Some cut my tissue
Scrape away at my flesh
Seeking the weakness within
Ignorance unearths deep foundations
Critical echoes erects towering walls
Creating an impenetrable field of solitude
Only passable through invitation,
Trespassers alarm the mind to traitors
If chosen and elected to intrude
Tread carefully with your voice
Step lightly with decision
Once warmth is shared please I beg,
Don’t break trust, heart, or soul
As the well of hope will dry
And I will collapse inward upon myself.
Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.
Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.