Swallowed

Encased tightly like a kindred shawl
Operatic music keys the deathly parade
Darkness falls as depression is unforgiven
Out of sleep, madness has ferociously risen

Minds lavish with stops and barriers
Each technique infiltrates the game
Confront the beast to endure the wrath
The dark showman encores with no laugh

Focus faded from white to blue
Sharp intakes as breath breaks free
Eyes swell enticed to a burning flame
Non-existent fiend is the common claim

Social effort made with no appreciation
Cloaked and hooded, a brave face worn
Battling blind is to live by the sword
Struggle back as help cries ignored

Body shifts earthwards to a living recession
A empty conscience to combat the depression
Cut off the head to revive the throne,
Before the dread absorbs, all to the bone

None believed the belief held by the host
Bleak haunted calls from the holy ghost
Redundant friends mourn the shadowy bed
Truth now evident, as tears soak the dead.

No Surrender

Stuck in a lifetime that won’t accept my vision
With mental illness it feels like I’m closer to reality
Others only see what’s in front of their face
Im frustrated their perspective is boundaried,
Blinkered, tunnel vision, seeing only in black and white

They are happy with that

Anxious minds can’t sit still, need to be stretched and challenged,
Imagination set free, be wild instead of socially tamed
Look at the world instead of four walls

Boredom is culpable

World passing by with each new day
Stay with the same or search for like minded individuals
Surrounded by the scared, my thoughts are all alone
Suffocated by negative when aspire to greatness

We are rare, few, forbidden from thinking our truth

Accused of madness, not normal
No wonder Anger issues with the mental frustration

People in front of the que are blind to my perception,
Living with no existence, leaving no trace
Open eyes that no longer see
Repressed folk suck the life out of the inspired
The media has suppressed the creative

Labelled for being a stranger in my own time

Frowned upon, scolded
Masses creating the word ‘stigma’ to separate themselves
Don’t listen to the ignorant
Nothing grows in the comfort zone

Be selfish, use your emotions given,
The next generation will love you for it,
Don’t ever get shown the door,
The anxious feeling is not a feeling of being lost,
It’s the longing of wanting more…

Winter winds

A Shadow of a person I could’ve been. Hiding from the world out of guilt and shame. But I’m always seen. My personal space is my enemy and my friend. Living life or on pretend. How will it end?

Fighting the good fight takes all the emotions and more, until there’s nothing left. When will I feel free? To see past the dark and flee…

Shadow Self

Shadow Self

Looking forward to the weekend
Drinking and socializing with mates
Half excited, half wrenching
In case the conversation turns to dates,
Of more nights or future holidays
Things on the spot I agree to
Pit of my stomach is yearning
I will avoid each one, and I do!
Talk of glory days I’ve missed
In the crowd but still alone
Detached, looking down from above
Lies and guilt, I could never atone,

But they’re a good bunch of friends
Initially I’m always included
In my head yes, no, yes, no
The reality, I feel excluded,
Listening out for the question
Waiting to be asked
Just for it to be over
For them it’s just a task,
An unspoken air of formality
Asking and I say yes
The elephant in the room is reality
Knowing I will let them down by text,

Not real great times, always on edge
But that was as good as it got,
They still think I’m some kind of ledge
But I know I’m not,
What I’d felt back then, wasn’t really me
I kinda knew, but today I know
And if I could live those days again,
I’d just go along with the normal flow,
Past is gone now, no time for regrets
Looking back I feel kind of blessed,
Because they’re a good bunch of friends
And my issues? No-one could have guessed.

Copyright Chanty 2013

Substitute

Am I a substitute for real life?

a stand in to what was meant to evolve

the shadow from the light that was meant to shine,

gifted a spark at birth

and an environment which bred

life, hope and praise,

Am I a default choice from lost potentials

who could’ve inhabited the same shell,

a traitor possessing a body,

I’ve done my best as a thief of life

wasted maybe, to my mind,

Before me stands the potential light and exuberance,

below the dark and squalid,

I am a substitute for life,

One called at a time of panic and saviour,

to keep safe and hold the soul in my possession,

Though it’s not a way to live,

until the walls of comfort are broken down,

I will uphold my calling,

and keep my place in line

Heart

Heart

Breath in the demons that feed your nonsensical thoughts,
Breath out life with purity and hunger,
Be in control of the natural system built to guide but not choose,
Slow down the cogs of reality to clear the rain from the views,
Change perspectives through lack of urgency, and more time for the wonder to illuminate and show itself,
Though it is a machine don’t see it as so, but as the giver of love, life and serenity.

Chris