A Night Out

Can you hear the silence
That’s me in the dark corner
Keeping quiet
Not speaking a word
Avoiding eye to eye,
But even though I’m innocent
I emit dark guilty vibes
Or thats how it feels,
In my mind
Im Batting away stares
With evidence
Of a alibi
Running through my head,
No crime has been committed
Or deviant deed undertaken
So why does guilt
Deep red my face
Cause my pores to seep
Like the sweat of a condemned man,
Pressure mounts
And I flee the scene
Hiding my face
Quickening my stroll
Until I reach the door
Of escape, literally,
I chance a glance to the crowd,
No looks to my direction
Heads not shifted an inch
Not even a slightest turn,
No ones even pretended to notice
I’ve vacated the building
And I’ve Left my seat cold,
My thoughts led my mind
To Think I’m the centrepiece
Of attention,
When of course
Im The polar opposite
Invisible and silent,
Reality sets in
My subconscious has excused me
From trying
With a fake thought trail
Mixed with physical traits
Of anxiety and guilt
So I could leave without obligation,
I’m at home, all alone,
Once again
Suffering from avoidance
Intrusive thoughts
Suppressed obligation
And a massive dose
Of a life lost.

Some Disorder

Take a moment
To catch a breath
Its complicated to imagine
The thoughts swirling in-depth

To normal, the lines are straight
For others mind is twisted
Most eyes see clean and clear
But in darkness sight is squinted

Sit straight as the tale is tall and true
And receivers do feel manipulated
For belief these disorders are real
Makes for uncomfortable and complicated

Concentration shuts off
The expression turns blank
No effort to understand
The eyes have rolled and sank

The Stories are true
No need for exaggeration
Many souls are lost
To their own imagination

Burn

We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.

I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.

I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.

Domino

Dont repeat this writing
Do not say these words
Pronounce no more,
or chaos will resume.
Midnight will become timeless
Darkness unleashed
Bringing out the horrors
And flesh will be consumed.
Cursed is a curse
Non believing makes it worse
Don’t tempt it out
To play in the light,
Dancing on bones,
It will strike the leader
The biggest ego among men
Slashing the laughter
Blood staining homes.
Smile if you will
Joke at my expense
Even though your mind is scared
And your lips tightly shut,
For it hears all
Flays to be fed
Will not stop or relent
To feed its rotting gut.
Do not share I plead
My conscience is now clear
The fault will not be mine
If blood runs in your tears.

I Dont like Wednesdays

I Don’t Like Wednesdays

Days are set in limbo
To which I will explode,
These times I’ve grown to hate
With Life falling on this date,
Clocks have all the power
Striking on doomed hours,
Wilting bodies until raw
Curling naked in a ball,
Drowning in self sweat
Flooding rooms with regret,
Please wake me up on the bell
When the days are not in hell.

Flight

Flight

Escape not from this room
You knew this
You knew impending doom
Not apparent bliss.

No chance to escape
Fight or flee
Your autonomy raped
It’s not different, you see

I will squeeze for life
Control the blood
Distract the mind
Search for love

Pain rather than avoidance
Hope better than death
Control is in the thought
Fear is in the breath

The Show Must Go On

The Show Must Go On

He will try to convince you
To do the merry dance,
The joker,
Pretending to be your friend,
His Manic laughter
Promising happily ever after.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jesters hat,
Go away you insidious monster
You mock yourself with that,
One, two, the fools on you
I see your game
Suffocating my lungs
Crushing my heart,
Whispering my name.
Bloody depression…

Dear Papa

Tread upon my memory
Twist the past to suit
So now I dwell in silence
And cry for help in mute.

You cannot talk for dread
Of upsetting your life of now
A coward never thinks
Just nods his head and bows

Similar in physicality
Only way that we’re the same
When people ask about me
You stutter at my name.

Deny any blood relations
Making young generations cry
When they knock the door in decades
Will you look them in the eye.

Karma Coma

Crying wolf to fate
Will arrange you a date
With the shadow of the reaper,
A soldier of lifes sleeper

No feelings or emotion
Or evidence of commotion,
When he cuts from the knees
The only moment he is pleased

When humans think of Karma
It’s a wind that brings much harmer,
An invisible eye of balance giving
To the path of righteous living

Sees all, and the virtual truth
No excuse to live or behave as youth
The cold will hit when cruel are older
As Karma taps on the foul cold shoulder.

Untitled

Choosing demons over loves,
Making deals with invisible allies
Who you believe will serve you right
Not serve up pain in longevity.

Non-belief of close ones hit their peaks
Freaking over the words,
Rebounding over and over,
Until rage blurs the lines of empathy.

Possessed and obsessed
A combination that kills millions,
And left many more stranded,
Empty handed.

There is either no end
Or a quick end,
Both a torture to the victim,
The perpetrator, and the fool,
Three acts playing out
In one mind.

How can one soul survive in this environment
And live unscathed,
Not in isolation, no, they will die alone,
This life needs help,
This life needs to be saved.