Dont repeat this writing
Do not say these words
Pronounce no more,
or chaos will resume.
Midnight will become timeless
Bringing out the horrors
And flesh will be consumed.
Cursed is a curse
Non believing makes it worse
Don’t tempt it out
To play in the light,
Dancing on bones,
It will strike the leader
The biggest ego among men
Slashing the laughter
Blood staining homes.
Smile if you will
Joke at my expense
Even though your mind is scared
And your lips tightly shut,
For it hears all
Flays to be fed
Will not stop or relent
To feed its rotting gut.
Do not share I plead
My conscience is now clear
The fault will not be mine
If blood runs in your tears.
I Don’t Like Wednesdays
Days are set in limbo
To which I will explode,
These times I’ve grown to hate
With Life falling on this date,
Clocks have all the power
Striking on doomed hours,
Wilting bodies until raw
Curling naked in a ball,
Drowning in self sweat
Flooding rooms with regret,
Please wake me up on the bell
When the days are not in hell.
Escape not from this room
You knew this
You knew impending doom
Not apparent bliss.
No chance to escape
Fight or flee
Your autonomy raped
It’s not different, you see
I will squeeze for life
Control the blood
Distract the mind
Search for love
Pain rather than avoidance
Hope better than death
Control is in the thought
Fear is in the breath
The Show Must Go On
He will try to convince you
To do the merry dance,
Pretending to be your friend,
His Manic laughter
Promising happily ever after.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Go away you insidious monster
You mock yourself with that,
One, two, the fools on you
I see your game
Suffocating my lungs
Crushing my heart,
Whispering my name.
Tread upon my memory
Twist the past to suit
So now I dwell in silence
And cry for help in mute.
You cannot talk for dread
Of upsetting your life of now
A coward never thinks
Just nods his head and bows
Similar in physicality
Only way that we’re the same
When people ask about me
You stutter at my name.
Deny any blood relations
Making young generations cry
When they knock the door in decades
Will you look them in the eye.
Crying wolf to fate
Will arrange you a date
With the shadow of the reaper,
A soldier of lifes sleeper
No feelings or emotion
Or evidence of commotion,
When he cuts from the knees
The only moment he is pleased
When humans think of Karma
It’s a wind that brings much harmer,
An invisible eye of balance giving
To the path of righteous living
Sees all, and the virtual truth
No excuse to live or behave as youth
The cold will hit when cruel are older
As Karma taps on the foul cold shoulder.
Choosing demons over loves,
Making deals with invisible allies
Who you believe will serve you right
Not serve up pain in longevity.
Non-belief of close ones hit their peaks
Freaking over the words,
Rebounding over and over,
Until rage blurs the lines of empathy.
Possessed and obsessed
A combination that kills millions,
And left many more stranded,
There is either no end
Or a quick end,
Both a torture to the victim,
The perpetrator, and the fool,
Three acts playing out
In one mind.
How can one soul survive in this environment
And live unscathed,
Not in isolation, no, they will die alone,
This life needs help,
This life needs to be saved.
A nights sleep and the heart pumps bigger
Now what hits is the constant trigger
My skin is so wet, and my nerves are soaked
My soul is flat, and my will is choked
I feel there is light, I feel heat in my eyes
A brighter appearance brings up a good cry
I put down the bottle, throw down the cork
Open the door and skip as I walk
The outlook is clearer, different and real
Feels like the air, has shook off its chill
A smile breaks free, wide and thin
The combined warmth, comes from within
Another same day, from beginning to end
Half wearing the mask, half full of pretend
One extreme to the other, to which I seem bound
Desperately searching, for some middle ground.
Anxiety the past,
Praying on memories of old
Turning joy toxic
Parading doubt in front of others.
Questioning becomes an obsession
With the conscious gods.
Rewriting history through imagination
Feelings of guilt and regret
Cloud truth and innocence.
Depression the present,
And tireless days
Mask slips in lonesome moments
Reappearing with others,
Painting a fake smile in company
Swapping faces to suit situations.
Forever Praying for, and fearing, isolation,
A bittersweet time of clarity
In a day of celebration
Where the crowd mood is red
The depressives is blue.
Fear is the future,
To unknown happenings,
Maybe Death or incarceration,
No positive or warm to hold onto.
Uncertainty a devil of the mind,
Imagination the keys on which he plays
Silencing voice of reason.
Rationality plays part of advocate
Though fails to satisfy or reassure
Peace and calm.
Noone can predict what the future holds
Though my accurate twisted depiction,
Is feeling alone and cold.
Many are visited always by these three ghosts,
And Christmas occasions can prove too dour
An Understanding voice can sing like a Carol
A true gift given, in a much needed hour.
When people say my name
I’m caught off guard
In my head I’m not approachable
Not expecting anyone to engage.
Question why they’ve open discussion
What’s their motive
Is it because I’m the last resort
Or the more interesting people have left
I’m anxious but glad at the same time
Praying I dont say anything stupid,
On egg shells so they will return,
Desperate to make good impression
The circles, emotions and thoughts that rise to the surface during conversation is immeasurable.
To the normal person its every day
To me it hits the seismic scale Of anxiety
My mind takes me through the talk
Summarising if I spoke out of turn
Or brought Shame upon myself.
Will they return for act two, or is once is enough.
Maybe one day I will listen to what they say and not heighten my feelings to my own responses,
Before the questions have been asked.
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