I Dont like Wednesdays

I Don’t Like Wednesdays

Days are set in limbo
To which I will explode,
These times I’ve grown to hate
With Life falling on this date,
Clocks have all the power
Striking on doomed hours,
Wilting bodies until raw
Curling naked in a ball,
Drowning in self sweat
Flooding rooms with regret,
Please wake me up on the bell
When the days are not in hell.

Only you know me

I think I’m too afraid,
But I know,
If I don’t soon, I will fade,
Eventually, I will let go

Even If I fail, I will try
No more will I hide,
If I unsuccessfully die,
At least I have tried

Let me go if I’m cold,
Eyes shut never blinking,
I was never meant to grow old,
Dont question my thinking

And Dont blame the view
I just like the sea
And I dont blame you,
It’s all on me

Tormented

What do you do
With a blanket of needs
Dying in front of you,
When communication has stopped,
The mind has collapsed,
And the addict scars
Grow from the inside
Swallowing the entire family whole,
Silence is worry
Conversation is pain
Though we carry on
And proceed with the fairytale,
Because if there’s breath
There’s a chance,
Or so we kid ourselves to think,
The truth is the edge becomes closer
With every anxious blink,
Each second the heart fails
Adds to the deathly nails,
And Laying calmly in wait
The coffin of addiction,

The final chapter enters insanity,
Awoken voices
Guides the mind
Onto the path of enlightenment,
Passing destruction and horror
Along the way,
The soul reaches the door of salvation
Save yourself, save all,
Close your eyes and walk towards,
One last chance of redemption
Make peace and fly,
Lay back and Wash away the guilt
Slowly as you die,
This ending offers no twist
No saviour to speak of,
Only a paragraph of truth
And reality
Which helps love ones to share,
That finially pulls the curtain
On this story called despair.

Stand up

We are all living
We are all dying
Ask for forgiving
When the soul is flying

We can all speak
We can all be silent
Tested at our peak
When the world is violent

We can all act
We are all still
We choose to react
To help at will

We can all love
We can all hate
Cleanse the fisted glove
Before it’s too late

We can all kiss
We can all shout
Think of the effect
When we open our mouth

We can all laugh
We can all cry
Leave no wrath
When you die

We can choose wrong
We can choose right
No one belongs
In a sense of fright

We can all be kind
We can all be mean
We can all be blind
To the horrors we see

We can all be quiet
We all have a voice
We all have a chance
To make the right choice

Parachutes

I feel sad and I cry
I cry because I lie
I lie to calm the day
Smile the hours away
But Deep inside I hide.
Real grief not lame belief
Brings relief,
A chance to be real
With how I feel
That comes with sadness
An emotional mess
Which comes naturally to me,
I can’t fake happy
I try but not really
I pretend to smile
But it goes on awhile
And becomes lazy
A Face of a crazy,
So I stay the side of sad
I know it sounds mad
But it’s all I know
To help me grow
So at least i can blend
And try and make a friend.

Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this cave
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out From your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand

Blue Sky

The view is amazing from here
The calm and the peace
I wonder if this is how it feels
When the body ends its lease

I see some people below me
A muddle of colourless shapes
I hope they leave soon
I’ll ignore them while I wait

Now I can hear pure song
Dizzyness as the birds sing
Yes this will be my last memory
Slowly as I swing.

Is This The Real Life.

Seclusion disturbs the stages,
The erratic plates of the mind,
Causing Eruptions of static rages
Shouting off, blinkered and blind,

Craters form at the bottom of the sea
Bottomless holes, cold and deep,
Lying mystic as a human subconscious,
Under a rock, where secrets seep

Only Sudden Trauma unlocks it secrets,
Forever Untouched, hidden and unseen,
Once opened be prepared for preservation,
For trauma reveals itself, only In screams

Exposure plays tricks with stories of the dead,
Condemning the closest people at heart,
Ripping family memories to distorted shreds,
And splits a once calm sanity apart.

The equator to madness Is very fine,
Leading uncertainty on a turbulent dance,
Stretching facts to fit the signs,
That chaos is coming, given the chance.

Nightmares are worse, when hells awoken,
Reacting evil, to noise and to light,
People pray such words are never spoken,
And that eyes stay shut, for a restful still night.

Lies become real, in blackness of dreams,
People of reality will watch and weep,
As their love one, trembles, stirs, and screams,
From the illusion its facing, inside their dark sleep.

Am I now or have I ever been…

Am I now or have I ever been?

Externally and physically
Inviting to the opposite sex,
Internally and emotionally
Distant and frigid to love,
Forever lost,
Doubting my place, my goodness
And my worth to another.

Pushing away sweetness and warmth,
Ignore a face of beauty,
An opportunity to share life
By treating closeness as a threat,
Consciously self harming the connection,
Tearing apart romance and trust,
Feeling guilty and broken inside,
But long term, I felt, I must.

No love left
I was bereft,
So many good people lost
To a mind of no confidence,
A charm with no substance,
And a heart that self destructs
When touched

Am I now,
Or have I ever been
Worthy of a free conscious,
To be finially empty of self pity and sabotage,
Why did I always condemn my soul
To isolation?

I will not know the answer
For I no more question my place,
By choice I add truthfully, not by avoidance,
I now live in some kind of elation
When a precious connection presents itself
As a friend.

Those who befriended me in my youth,
And even at present
I salute you,
Conversation never comes easy,
Though fleeing does,
For us to both stand our grounds
And endure for friendship
Is a lifeline to some,
And a miracle of development,
In character and personality,
For a sufferer of worry and displacement
Like me.

And repeat…

… I cannot sleep,
I over think,
My mind switches on
Tunes in
To endless channels
Of riddles and junk.
I’m not the only one
Just one of many,
Who wake in the dark
Sleep never,
And lyes thinking up myths
Instead of staring at truths.
I hear nothing
And hear all,
Seeing shapes and shadows,
Forming stories
That won’t exist forever.
I’ll sleep tomorrow night
It’ll be different then,
And if I can’t,
I shall speak with you again.