Belief

We need to smooth the ride
For People that shouldn’t have died,
A spiritual involvement perhaps?
Before a person’s mind will collapse,
Every day, it happens every day
Vibrant lifes are taken away,
Just one, one other to understand
So life not extinguished by own hand.

Underneath the sky

Do you know the fear
Of stepping outside,
Shaking with exhaustion,
To have Convulsions
With the thought
Of impending doom
From venturing in to the world.

Choosing instead to stay
In the zone of comfort,
Ride out the anxiety,
Hide from any knocking doors,
Cover my ears, praying they will leave,
Eyes tightly shut, only opening
To Time watch the clock,
Waiting,
Until the deadline passes
That I was expected.

At this time relief sets in
A weight is lifted,
Able to exhale,
Even though I’ve failed,
Let people down
Through not turning up,
Ruining reputation,
Using up all the forgiveness allowed,
Resulting in bad looks and stares from afar.

Even though because of this,
I’m relieved,
I didn’t have to go,
Put myself through hell
By advancing through the front door,
I can live with this for tonight,
Enjoy the feeling of safety,
Celebrate my avoidance,
I’ve got away with it once again…
Until the next time.

Laughing in the dark

Lean on me
When the cold casts a shadow
On the soul,
The dark transferring to the mind
As a ghost
Swallowing life and blinding
Eyes of colour,
I will guide you towards the light,
When time seems too long
To see and walk
Through the psychological storm
And tears leave scars
Unseen to others,
I will hold your hand
Drag you towards the sun,
Though if your weight bares to strong
I shall stay,
And the Demons shall hear us
Laughing in the dark.

Amputated

Two fingers amputated due to a work accident.
For a recreational writer and poet it can be a massive setback.
Not being able to make notes quickly, and struggling to get motivated or creative when looking at a loss which is so obvious in front of my face.
Worrying what other people think of my deformity.

But we must crack on and tell our story.
I’ve suffered mentally in the past, and now physically.
Because it’s my writing hand I feel like I’m being tormented or warned by some higher power.

But alas that is just my imagination, which is still fully intact.
I will adapt and embrace the change. Though it may be a slower process, words will still flow and my story will go on…

Happy People

Happy People

I’m sinking
Sinking in drinking
Swallowing my soul,
Im thinking, thinking
Of sinking
Swallowed down whole

I’m breathing
Breathing in light
Where darkness still reigns,
I’m sorry
Sorry for everything
Guilt runs through my veins

I’m leaving
Leaving through time
I’ve nothing left,
Come find me
Find me in peace
There’s no judgement in death.

Burn

We have to unlearn
To be a Burden,
Release the frustrated
Of feeling hated.
We try and we try
To live and not die,
But it’s so hard
To kick start
The energy and will
To swallow the pill
To be able to see straight
And let go of the hate.

I look in the reflection
And see no direction,
Just roads of chaos
Leading to being lost.
I know, and I feel
One day I will heal
Until then I shall not hide
And Choose to stay inside
Where comfort lies in place
And I never show my face.

I will go forth to live
Allow myself to forgive
All the invisible thoughts
That cut my life short,
Yes I shall stand
Drop the knife from hand
Pull up out of the bath
Smile and laugh,
You know I could
In fact I know I should,
If only I wasnt dead
And the water wasnt red,
And my thoughts wasnt fate
Telling me im too late,
I never learn
Im still a burden
My family will find me
Open the door and see
My body, or what’s left,
See I’m still out of place, even in death.

I Swear

I have been Cursed
For causing dark treason,
Bringing public the fight
That reins against my demons,

As I focus my words, I become,
The truth bringer,
So action is taken
And mystical fate looses my fingers.

Twice a digit has been sacrificed
Amputated to order,
By the secret forces
Who watch over the borders,

A thin veil of protection
A line of hidden meaning,
A dark threat to my spirit,
Soon I will be bleeding

My Penship is now a martyr
Twice finger limbs have been cut
But I will never stop the write
Though my hand is truly fucked.

I Dont like Wednesdays

I Don’t Like Wednesdays

Days are set in limbo
To which I will explode,
These times I’ve grown to hate
With Life falling on this date,
Clocks have all the power
Striking on doomed hours,
Wilting bodies until raw
Curling naked in a ball,
Drowning in self sweat
Flooding rooms with regret,
Please wake me up on the bell
When the days are not in hell.

Only you know me

I think I’m too afraid,
But I know,
If I don’t soon, I will fade,
Eventually, I will let go

Even If I fail, I will try
No more will I hide,
If I unsuccessfully die,
At least I have tried

Let me go if I’m cold,
Eyes shut never blinking,
I was never meant to grow old,
Dont question my thinking

And Dont blame the view
I just like the sea
And I dont blame you,
It’s all on me