Rumours

Choose not to believe
the lies and deceit
that deviants spread
and can’t be unsaid
A devil of deception
seduces their reception
with slanderous myths
of various trysts
They add to the absurd
from what they’ve heard
destroying minds
of an innocent kind
Exaggeration can kill
Can a liar feel
Is their conscious clear
when a victim is near
an edge of a gully
because of a bully
So don’t be naive
with what you believe
look at the source
and don’t be forced
into the game
of slandering a name
for the sake of fun
or disliking someone
With social media
it’s a lot easier
to make somebody bleed
by planting a seed
into empty shells
who don’t think for themselves
These people speaking
are just seeking
praise and attention
with no life to mention
Lies and rumour
a growing tumour
within our society
aiming for notoriety
It’s not clever
It’s no great endeavour
Help people, be kind
easing the mind
keep silent on the lies
Think with the wise.

Chris Chant 2018

Brick Wall

If I had to write this with compulsions
It would take a hour for each word
An empty shell with a story to tell
Thank heavens I can now be heard

Blurry lyrics or a collection of genius
My perception they all make sense
A messy mind had a complex calm
Writing this feels so intense

My lowest point, I’d be counting letters
Fragile with anger in my darkest hour
Turning pages a bittersweet torment
Anxiety risen, a story turned sour

Six months I’ve received this calm gift
Continued to put paper to pen
A thought stuck in the back of my mind,
Will my creative desire be grounded again?

Youth was hell, middle age is now
Although the middle feels like pretend,
Because what if this just six months relief,
Keep questioning how’s it going to end?

This thought really struck hard
A pool of water drowning my flair
The best way to be guided forward,
Is to make it real, stick it out there

A clear mind feels to good to be pure
Intrusive thoughts, a form of creative theft
If I couldn’t produce my written work,
My impression is, I’d have nothing left

I’m pleased my lyrics are not lost in translation
It’s where my silent mind has its speech
Forever fighting this fermenting stigma
I hope its helped someone, the people it has reached…

Antidote

Run run run away
The thread is wearing thin
Escape escape escape this place
No one knows where you’ve been

Flee flee flee this hole
Don’t know what you might find
Help help help yourself
Take possession of your mind

Change change change direction
Squeeze the blood out from your hand
Free free free the poison
Maybe now you’ll understand.

Yes

Having the will to be critical and angry,
To encourage, I didn’t have the energy
Being ‘pretend’ happy got me nowhere,
Touch of sarcastic praise, ‘there there’
I shouted and shouted to seem taller,
The realism, as a person I was smaller

Anxiety closing in, please let me out
Only option left was to try and shout
Hard to describe the way I felt
Not living real, playing the hand I’m dealt
Trying to be kind, by being cruel
Ending with someone, before they end with you

The only happiness came at the end of a bar,
Ending relationships, before they got too far,
To the extent of cheating, being immature,
Did nothing for my personality, or stature
Before they see I have an anxious mind
To show my real feelings, I would be blind

Had to get out, put my sanity first,
The OCD had an unquenchable thirst
When I laughed, or played at being a brat,
My self preservation had kicked in, only I knew that
The irony is, of ending all ties,
Is turning to drink, who Fed me all lies

I was lonely alone and I needed out
Put a pin in my pain and please bleed me out
Pretty much treated everyone the same,
Looking to leave you, looking real lame
If I let you down I have no excuse,
apart from wanting to be a full time recluse

OCD, anxiety, depression, I could go on
Not for sympathy or any attention,
After 30 years now my script is my own,
The mind dictator, has been disowned
A sea of uncertainty for years I swam,
Haven’t drowned yet so here I am,

My life was a pebble, buried in the sand
With help I was excavated safely to land
Allowed to sit in the sun and shine
I can be myself with no invisible whine
So though in the past, I did act very strange,
a little understanding would be good, coz believe me I’ve changed.

Senses

 

Forged as a totem, tall proud divine,
Father yields no im-pures with emotions entwined

Deity exclusively chooses, speaks to providence,
Turned a demigod but at what expense

No existing or balance on this scornful plane
Sacrifice to supernatural, shred the skin and name

Deal with Devil, the maker and Lord
Knighted with immorality, kneel to the sword

Soul poisoned, mockery of life with counterfeit peace,
Repelled by Angels, wings ordered to release

Belong neither promised land or hell fire,
Traitor for both, a premature death, a mongrel sire

In limbo, a phantom apparition where shadows are bleak,
A ghost, a spirit, with no spirit to speak

A false illusion, a cursed timeless half breed,
Weak in mental minds, drifters plant the seed

Peace in death, a misconception and myth,
Spoke by martyrs, calm passing is the gift

Voice of the sinners torment the alive,
Reaching not to join but to reality survive

Only the unique hears the cries of the anguish,
Brings own agony and a looped death wish

Shared minds where illusions are bound,
Labels of anxieties, an illness with no sound

Irony of the damned offering aid and relief,
Is the exaggeration of mad nocturnal belief

Only those closer to reality hear the tone,
Judged by ignorant, who fear the not alone

Souls lost in oblivion, scorned by brothers,
Scream for redemption and freedom of others

Adrift lives, rejected by the wrath of God’s throng,
When finally accepted by few, will play their last song

To pretend or distract or spurn the lonely presence,
Will increase the will for some external essence

Living and dead, crave their destiny and fate,
Death already sealed, the manner held as bait

Brain illness, an open eye in the sea of the blind,
Sees beyond truth, detects the conscience between the mind.

Time Stood Still

In the darkness, the path seems clearer
Blinking eyes makes time come nearer
History passes like a camera flicking
Slowly watching it pass in a series of ticking
Usually imagined futures are bleak
Try to endure, just a sense of a peak
I see figures faded, wrapped up in time
Shaky blurred muttering in a speechless mime

Given the grace of the family I craved
Raw emotions, anguish, new paths this paved
Numbing of the mind, then and this hour
Powering like the sea, turning memories sour
Holding my head, feeling balanced and brave
Yearning to leave a legacy before the grave
Bringing life into a disconnected mind
Logic and emotion together combined

The heart gets stretched like skin on a hand
Pushing the blood, like water through sand
Fighting like a stag to hold onto the present
Losing my reality, losing my essence
The people we love, and those we’ve told
Still can’t understand the shape of this mould
If time stood still, and all that was left was the night
Would this be bliss? Not having to see, not having to fight…

Blurred Senses

Spinning the wheel, the reaper misses
A spectral hand pulls and kisses,
With poison lips and endless throat,
Drags you from a lifeless boat
To a place that reeks of bad sanitation
Blessed it’s all in my imagination
Suppose it’s real? but distant are my senses
Anxiety guards take charge, barriers and high fences,
To grasp back the fearing constant scream,
That causes nerves, if only a dream
Tosses and turns, fashions the body to react
If it’s in all our head, is our heads intact?
I see, hear, touch and occasionally feel
Thoughts are thoughts, whys this so real?
Stood still in the cold, wear wet as a crown
Eyes glare at fill line, gaping to drown
Wake up you fool, no more I can bare!
Reality hits of the still waking nightmare.