Crazy Daze

Is there a reason I can’t stand still,
That’s when the anxiety hits real hard
I know it’s because I’m mentally ill,
For that you never receive a ‘Get well card’

My mind is always fast progressing,
My body frustrates when caught frozen,
While motionless my head is obsessing,
A brain headache that’s not been chosen

See the patterns on my wrist,
I don’t remember how they got there,
Suicide was very low on the list,
Jumps to the top with a wrongly took glare

A rushing brain causes dark stories
A calm mind sees what the eyes deny
Blurred and tainted all my past glories,
What you think creates the cursed lie

Torn between the two states,
Calm jumps to rock and hard place
Thinking flies off while the conscience waits,
So much confusion in so little space

Sometimes it’s hard to believe what you feel,
By now I can read the signs of an attack,
And the reason my mind can’t sit still,
Is the fear of it falling coarsely back.

Bridge to Cross

Bridge to Cross

Give life away in the now to re-live the past,
To feel happiness, one that will last,
To go back would you choose the rain,
To dance at night awaiting the train,
Feel stripped naked and left so bare,
With choices re-made to prove you care
Pay with the present to go back in time,
Live a little and claim what is mine,
Voice all emotions, say how you feel,
Tell people their futures, tell them what’s real,
Catch up with gone friends who are sadly missed,
Track down past loves for a long lost kiss

Remind your past self how great you are,
Voice to your family that you’re never too far,
To leave the present to complete those dreams,
Is a dream itself, a life with no seams,
To re-do the pleasures the mind wouldn’t allow,
It’s still not too late to change all this now

The life beat still flows hard through the veins,
Maybe having the chance to make choices again,
Your mind has shown what the will desires,
A choice to what sets your heart on fire,
A promise to yourself that you need to keep,
Should you ever awake, from your self induced sleep.

 

Thinking about possible regrets I’ve had in my life. The girl that got away when I was younger, places I’ve never visited, people who I care about but didn’t really show.

Being asleep when alive, drifting instead of living. The final thoughts or flashbacks when I take my last breath, and if that time would be chosen or natural.

Questioning is what this poem is about. Not suppose to think of ‘What ifs’ anymore, but at one point it was all I used to ask myself.

Chris.