Life Force

Holding my hand onto the chest
grabbing at the beat,
closing my eyes
to place a palm face down to the ground,
I send to you a wave of comfort
vibrating to your soul,
Un-tying the mind
of loneliness and hunger,
I shall remain silent,
where I’m knelt,
Embracing the knowledge from the earth
that when your heart skips,
to a sound of warmth and compassion
my gift has been felt

Speech for Today

Speech for today

Out of the dark comes light
Out of the pain comes fight
When we panic we finally breathe
When we’re alone inside we grieve
Take away the fear and seal your fate
Take that imagination and go create
For we are unique and we seek peace
Within ourselves so we can release
A beauty of a wondrous soul
Waiting for the mind, to finally let go

You’re always going to get the slaters
Who when louder, turn to the haters
In reality they admire you from afar
They see you act as who you are
A passionate soul who can be themselves
In today’s world that’s a true wealth
It’s ‘if I want’, not that ‘I must!’
Your voice, is the voice to trust.

The inner voice, it can encourage but mostly it’s critical or plays it safe to keep you from harm. Embrace it, listen,  but prove you are better then you show. Not for other people but for you.

When you battle the inner voice you also have to fight the external voices. The people who criticize because they can, because they are not happy in their world.
Shut off to the negative. They don’t know you. They can’t see the hunger is burning inside. It’s invisible to see but an unstoppable feeling.
Where others give in, fight. Become what you want to achieve, why not?

You can’t change other peoples actions or decisions, but you can yours.
Don’t talk yourself out of it, there’s enough people who try and do that. Be kind, be great, go create…

Toleration

 

‘Not more words from prophet of doom
Where does this soul find the room?’
‘Its true I write the bad I’ve felt
Dark places I’ve been, edges I’ve knelt
‘Inside their head those words of pain
What do they ever hope to gain?’
‘An outlet I use, a voice to spread
Of all the things I wished I said’
‘I bet they always need help and reliance
Bringing people down with their awkward silence’
‘I feel the tensions, sense the sound
Its harder sometimes when I’m around’
We’ve all had issue’s, we just don’t tell
Why do they have to sulk and dwell’
‘I’m affected worse it’s my mind you see
Stick around I’m actually quite funny’
‘Truth is I don’t understand or relate
Surely writing this will seal their fate’
‘I want to feel joy and that’s the key
Depressions easy to feel but harder to see’
‘Just carry on, life’s way too short
We all suffer, just don’t give it a thought’
‘I suffer alone, head in my hand
The reasons why I don’t understand’

 

Its hard tolerating someone who you feel is not acting how you want them to. In a anxious, angry or depressive state, how the other person thinks or feels doesn’t come into the equation as you are just concentrating on the matter in hand that’s affecting you.
I find when your in a desperate, anxious situation the tolerance and patience levels goes right down and you lose it at any kind of negative response.

Someone who can tolerate, understand and recognise these elements in certain people with mental health issues or just in general, and to be able to carry on with their own lives normally without judgement or criticism are people to treasure.

As someone that has ill mental health I understand how people don’t understand. To feel how I feel is totally unique to others. Its just Alien to people on the other side of the health spectrum. Once I understood that, paradoxically I could be more open about my feelings, because in the end it doesn’t matter, I still thought I was being judged and stared at, so I thought I just as well talk about it honestly.
Every now and then I’d get a response of support and understanding and this becomes and wondrous moment.

Storm never came (Suicide lays dormant)

A reading of a poem I’ve previously published on this Blog.

We all can be close to this decision especially at this day in age with added pressures every week.

It’s good to create awareness and to talk about the reality in some peoples lives, to get it out there and not to be taboo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5RulV7Lgek

 

 

 

Worn out

Worn out

Why does have to be called Obsessive?
It makes it sound scary, odd and weird,
People nod when they hear mental health,
Mention obsessive they soon disappear,

Ignorance and unknown combine very well,
The obsessing makes you seem like a stalker,
The fixation is on something not real,
A complete unravelling life disorder

It’s true my mind stays focussed on one thing,
See it through to the point of destruction,
It can affect everyone that’s close to me,
But only through frustrated eruptions

So tell me what is OCD?
To be honest it’s hard to explain,
Poisons all good parts of your life,
And plays it over, again and again

A debilitating illness that’s in the top ten,
Scary to have and hard to make clear,
Addicted to a mystery disruptive routine,
Each obsession wipes away another year

Writing this last verse became an obsession,
All day thinking if it’s the right message I’m sending,
I guess when it comes to obsessions and compulsions,
There never really is a proper certain ending.

 

More a rant than a poem. Why does have to be so disruptive, it’s so painfully draining?

Sometimes it’s good to get out into words and be able to relate to it, and touch upon the emotions afterwards, when I’m in a good place.

That’s the thing about recovering you can tap into these dark cold places without getting stuck there. It’s easier to just look back and reflect with no fear of downward spiralling, or getting caught in the trap. I hope you enjoyed it,

Chris.

 

Two Halves

Two halves
You may think these words are heavy
It’s hard not to be with mental illness
Most would of stopped reading by now
Some stayed just to be curious

Maybe you stayed because you can relate,
To how it felt and how it affected you
The Love, fear, happiness and hate
We’re constantly have, and are going through

Those first two verses were written when really low,
God, reading it brings me down
But only to a level of understanding
All part of turning your life around

Well, you got this far, and not by chance
Seen off the mysterious voices
Freedom is a wonderful thing
Being able to make life choices

A lot of life has been wasted
Solving an impossible puzzle
Time to look past, look forward
Take off that emotional muzzle

I don’t want to end this like I’m preaching,
But there’s one thing I’ve identified,
If you do relate, then you’re a kind, loyal,
Beautiful, passionate, creative, ambitious and caring person…
… Don’t hide!
This poem is the first one I wrote about feeling good about yourself. We few of a mixed up mind are very creative and it’s about accepting that and channelling it in positives ways. I hope you enjoyed it.

Chris