Lay Me Down

A silent hymn swarms the senses
Sensations charged, bloods too swift
Memory poisoned, weary of pretences
With each sharp point a full body lift.

Awake fever cold, lips texture of slate
Rejects visual help, deny the sound
Bruises new, a pure circular shape
Flakiness of skin, ankles once bound

Real or a film of fiction
Inspect body, stifle a scream
Escape attempts creates harm friction
Lesions made, stain skin at the seam.

Dream of scenarios, body cuffed tight
Butterfly effect, wings have swung
A nightmare which overlaps the night
Sour taste to mouth, intrusion in lung

Cloaked a stranger, calls a name
Intimate outlines with empty stares
Swear words alluded through shame
Convulsing body pulls skin to tear.

Melt through sheets as sweat gives way
Escape plan hatched, float through floors
Arms stretched out to slink away
Reality bites down, home to four walls

Travel shift to outside ward
Undeniably a dream to recognise
A body concealed from open doors
Head slips to reveal the disguise.

Alive in bed or dead where I stand
A premonition gift, given to hear
Trust not to cry off a helping hand
An awakening lust, the minds clear

Fear defends the external choice
Bittersweet to white flag this race
For now someone else speaks my voice
Though the ceiling still reflects my face.

Chest tight by weight of heaving
Already howled the meltdown song
Truth hits quiet, no prizes for leaving
To dampen my mind, this is where I belong.

No Love Lost

A child with sensitivity to feelings
Living with a parent with no emotion,
Is like drowning in the ocean,
Never dying.
The adult only walks the selfish direction
Widening the gap of bond and blood
Separating the connection
Between father and son,
Family home a safe haven turned toxic
By the golem who created his kingdom,
And his alone.
Willing freely to give you away,
Maybe bribe you with silver
To leave their place
So you burden them no more

Sowed the seed but not willing to feed
The emotionally hungry figure of youth,
Not because of behavioral actions
Or laziness tendencies on your part,
But through deviant selfishness
To thrive without ties of a child
Giving the responsibility of parent
To the world,
No wonder as an adolescent we feel abandoned,
Left stranded to survive
With no tools to speak of,
Its pointless to eventually seek blame
They hold no shame,
And learn nothing other to treat your babe,
Their legacy and grandchild,
The same.

Three, four knocking at your door

Born a twin

An invisible shadow to my side
Inside they whispered peacefully
Now they’re eating me alive.
Cold to my warm
Dark to my light
While I can survive the world
The twin I now have to fight.
Im the only ear that hears the voice
A critical figure questioning my soul
When can I reply to argue
Find a balance to real and false.
Jealous that I found life
Though still existing inside my head
Only find peace when I accept
My mind is twinned until I’m dead.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

Untitled

Choosing demons over loves,
Making deals with invisible allies
Who you believe will serve you right
Not serve up pain in longevity.

Non-belief of close ones hit their peaks
Freaking over the words,
Rebounding over and over,
Until rage blurs the lines of empathy.

Possessed and obsessed
A combination that kills millions,
And left many more stranded,
Empty handed.

There is either no end
Or a quick end,
Both a torture to the victim,
The perpetrator, and the fool,
Three acts playing out
In one mind.

How can one soul survive in this environment
And live unscathed,
Not in isolation, no, they will die alone,
This life needs help,
This life needs to be saved.

Pain and suffering

An invisible epidemic spreads through human life,
Known but unseen
Casting shadows internally
Polluting the brain.
Suicide and pain seem a way of life
Shocking but accepted.
When did we as a species, start acting,
As taking our own life is ok.
Shocking, cruel and unbelievable
Until time passes and shock value
Depreciates,
Becoming recognised as part of the journey.

No it’s not normal for an individual
Full of sense, emotion and love
Choosing to kill themselves cold.
To get to this state should send waves
To all that breathes.
We are evolving to see suicide as an option
Adapting and planning self torture.
This needs to stop
And start believing in the values of breathing,
Dancing to the blood pumping
Through viens.
And value life as a gift
Not a burden to survive.

The higher charge in every country,
In every race and language,
Need to see what’s in front of their
Privileged eyes.
People are suffering with standards
Of life.
Poverty, pain, combined with weight of mind
Brings the soul to drip
Of helplessness.

Self-halm to the extent of death,
Planned and executed in advance
By an individual
Who sees no other option.
This shouldn’t be behaviour of the sane
Suicide is spreading and rising
Unnoticed and quiet, until the blood drains.

Shadow

When people say my name
I’m caught off guard
In my head I’m not approachable
Not expecting anyone to engage.

Question why they’ve open discussion
What’s their motive
Is it because I’m the last resort
Or the more interesting people have left

I’m anxious but glad at the same time
Praying I dont say anything stupid,
On egg shells so they will return,
Desperate to make good impression
The circles, emotions and thoughts that rise to the surface during conversation is immeasurable.

To the normal person its every day
To me it hits the seismic scale Of anxiety
My mind takes me through the talk
Summarising if I spoke out of turn
Or brought Shame upon myself.
Will they return for act two, or is once is enough.

Maybe one day I will listen to what they say and not heighten my feelings to my own responses,
Before the questions have been asked.

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